Rampant Randomness

I figured it was time.

It's probably bad that I don't remember the last night I went without a drink, but at the same time, I rarely get drunk, just comfortably tipsy. (That point past being willing to drive but still willing to work with sharp or hot objects.) Hmm. I have plenty of excuses, want a few?

I spent like the last hour on the phone with my mom's best friend. I love the woman, I really do. Even when she calls me late and after a few drinks and I lovingly have to listen to the same story three times. She complains about my mom as much as I do, it's worth it.

By the way, I am horrible on the phone. In high school I used to sit on the phone for hours with friends, not even saying anything, just watching television, sometimes even the same channel. Now? If you aren't doing most of the talking I just sit there like "okay... what do you want?" Is it boredom? It's not like I don't have the time to talk to people, it's just a lack of drive. Texts? AIM? Not really an issue, it's easier to make it brief... Me? Brief? Yeah, I text like I write, in full sentences and it's hard sometimes to make my wordy self trim it down, but yeah.

I'm hungry.

My impending trip to fun in the sun has me all stressed out about body image. I am going to California for goodness sakes, I'd like to come back with a decent amount of sun. Am I willing to wear a tank top? I don't remember the last time I did in public. I've got chubby arms and lovely little stretch marks that have been with me at least since junior high. Should that matter? To be honest, I like big, flowy comfortable clothes. A coat of some sort has been my security blanket for as long as I remember. I wear flannels and try to blame my proximity to the Seattle fashion scene. My fashion sense comes from my mother, no doubt. T-shirt and jeans nearly every day of her life. I stole my first two favorite flannel shirts from her, hid them for a couple months and then let them resurface saying she gave them to me. I try to be better then that, kinda, plus I have been on this girly kick the last few years that along with prompting me to own more then one skirt, has also revealed much more cleavage then in past, something T-shirts don't allow. Better, but not progressive, but oh how I love the girls, they are one part of my body that I am relatively fond of. Big and flowy don't do much to flatter a big girl like me, but then again neither do the tight articles that do not much else but accentuate just how curvy the body can be. I have found myself asking the hubby "if this is too tight" or "how bad does this look" or any other skeptical self conscious questions. I see big girls ALL the time with more confidence then me in this area... any help? Please?

(Insert pause here, I had to save as a draft and start again the next morning. That's just how random this post is.)

Payday again, always fun. On top of the bills we are precariously close to drowning in, we have to renew my ID and the tags on the car. An extra hundred or so to worry about. Yay. At least the hubby had a day of overtime and we have whatever Ketchup chooses to contribute. Ketchup better not start going on and on about getting a phone again. We gave him a FREE phone, a Razr in fact, set him up with a deal that is only ten dollars a month for texts and unlimited access to our home phone. Apparently this isn't good enough for the guy who talks to virtually no one.

A fifteen year old kid in Iowa said he would buy me a car some day. Should I hold him to it?

Car insurance sucks. I went onto the website for Farmers the other day (because that's the company we have) and for the hell of it, I got a quote because seriously, they have raised it over a hundred and fifty dollars in the last year and that didn't sound too peachy. The website quoted us much, much cheaper. Fifty dollars a month cheaper in fact, nearly half price. I got quotes from four other companies as well and all of them were even cheaper then Farmers. The hubby is at our agent's right now trying to sort through it.

It's come to my attention that I've gotten a lot of hits on my blog because of my post "How to Pass a Drug Test." Well, hi to all of you and while I kind of like being the source for information, I'd like you to keep two things in mind. One, I am no authority, I have never even had to take a drug test. All of my information was accumulative over the years through peripheral experience and being well read. Google it, I did. Two, my blog is so much more then that so take the time to read a post or two, maybe even comment me to let me know if I've helped before forgetting about me entirely. Thanks!

Still haven't talked to Sassy at all, and really I doubt we will anytime soon. She has officially declared her single status and I think the hubby and I are just part of the life she had with Tall, something to be left behind. It's a toss up as to how much of a loss it is. I probably wouldn't have ever become friends with a girl like this if Tall hadn't of brought her around. At the same time though, I have been as close to her as any other female over the past few years. She just did a survey on MySpace and it's pretty obvious she has moved on with her life.

Speaking of MySpace, I finally changed mine a little, from the background to my top friends and hopefully before too long I will sweeten the pot by adding some more pictures.

Eighteen days and just over three hours until the plane takes off for California. I haven't been on a plane in years. How different has it become post 9-11? I remember my mom a few years back purposely left a nail file in her purse, just to see if they would flip out. They didn't even find it. I don't think I will be trying something like that.

Spleeee! (Anyone who get's this reference is awesome.)

Birthday money has started to roll in, two cards, one from my grandma and one from my aunt. This means a little spending money for our vacation, which is awesome because we would have been pretty dang strapped for cash. Not that I really mind Jack in the Box, but the hubby has his heart set on the House of Blues. I am really quite afraid as to what that bill is going to add up to. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.

Is there a good cheap tequila to use for margaritas?

Due to winning three free downloads through SmirnofIce.com, I just signed up with emusic.com again. It's a good service but it's all independent labels. There's a lot of good names, just ten times more that you've never heard of. I've got seventy six downloads remaining for this month (started out with eighty-three but the hubby actually found some songs to download before I had even had a chance to look) and I don't even know where to start. For anyone interested, it's ten dollars a month for like fifty downloads a month, with a sign-up, or in my case, resign-up bonuses. It typically works out to about thirty-three cents a song. It's month to month and you can cancel at any time. You can burn the tracks as much as you like, something a lot of the other music download sites don't offer. Wow, they should pay me for this plug.

The insurance agent just called, he doesn't understand why the Farmers website would give me that quote so he made me bring it up on the computer so I could give him a code from it. Sounds like he may recommend that we switch companies, which is cool that he would even suggest that and I have to say, he is what makes it hard to think about switching companies. (On a funny note, Ketchup was with the hubby down at the insurance place and my agent called him my hubby's enforcer. Ha!)

A perk to the hubby's four day weekend next week is that they are using Ketchup to cover his shift on Wednesday. Yay! That works for me!

Freaking-A! We keep getting these telemarketer calls for Prissy. (Just got another.) I yelled at the lady this time because she got uppity with me about it, saying that Prissy must have given our number out as a contact. She's like "well can you give her a message?" No! You've been calling for months, this isn't her number, we have given her the message, there is nothing else we can do, take this number out of the dang system! If Prissy ever admits to giving out our number I am going to smack her.

Out of nowhere music recommendation: Kimya Dawson. She did a couple of the songs from the movie Juno. Check out her MySpace, she's got songs available for download. Happy listening!

The bugs (bees, wasps, whatever, it doesn't matter) outside the window right next to me are starting to piss me off so I am going to wrap this up in a tight little bow and be on my way so I don't feel like I am itching for the rest of the day. (Bugs bad, very bad, ugh.)

Love you blog!

Distracted

SO! Hi there! I am horribly distracted and spent most of my available time commenting on my dear Doppelganger's blog so bare with me as I ramble while doing six other things at the same time.

Yesterday was Tall's twenty first birthday so all we have heard from him is a few drunken texts as to be expected. Now he wants to go to the bar next door and play pool. Really, if it gets him to stop by more often I'm fine with it. However I have not played pool since like freshman year in high school and even then I pretty much sucked.

On a disgusting note, the hubby had to take Ketchup to the emergency room the other day to get a lump on his chest drained. Great, huh? I was irritated because the hubby said he was planning on just dropping him off there, but instead basically stayed and held Ketchup's hand through the whole thing leaving me sitting home alone for an extra two hours. It was the first time in a long time I had a drink alone... well, two drinks. Forgive me for thinking that a guy who has been through a heart attack can handle himself to have an infected zit treated. Oh well. Since then I have really decided that Ketchup should no longer wander around my apartment without a shirt on. It is... less then appealing, especially given recent circumstances. Hairy bastard.

Speaking of hairy bastards... Hairy stopped by last night. We gave him a hit and a beer and he ended up staying until two thirty in the morning playing Call of Duty 4. I love that guy sometimes. (Not to be too insulting to his girlfriend Prissy, but those "sometimes" are typically when she's not around.)

Alright, onto the most important topic of my post, my birthday! A step closer to thirty but I am really trying to ignore that part of it. The hubby got a four day weekend just for me, next Monday through Thursday, Thursday being my birthday. We were thinking a late night barbeque and blue margaritas on Wednesday. (Tarantula has a blue margarita mix, and it's actually cheap!) Tall is already game. Low key and cheap, that's my kind of party.

About twenty days until we leave for California, yay! I can't wait! I'm starting to get nervous, I always get nervous before I travel. I don't do it nearly enough. The last time I was on a plane was about eight and a half years ago. Weird.

This is just how distracted I've let myself become... I'm sitting here with a nail file cleaning out cat fur from my keyboard. Yeah... I had better go.

Love you blog.

Twenty-Five Minutes

I'm in the process of dying my hair and while I sit here trying not to drip this chemical concoction onto the keyboard I wonder if twenty-five minutes is anywhere near enough time for me to write a post. Probably not so I will have to keep an eye on the time as I type.

As much as I don't want to be addicted to MySpace, I am. I don't comment to people anywhere near enough but I can't think of the last time I let a day go by without checking it. There's barely any pictures of me on my page, I hope to fix that, especially after our vacation. (Which is only twenty five days away! I always get nervous before I travel, ugh.) Jeeze, my hair is like twice as long as it was in one of those pictures. I want to change my background again too. It's like the furniture in my apartment, after a couple months I get the itch to rearrange.

It was great seeing your MySpace page, my dear Doppelganger. I feel I know you so well and to see you and know you a little better shines a little light on my friend in the dark. I hope you feel the same. (It must be a weird little insight into my ranting about my friends considering I have mentioned about half the people on my friend's list, ha! Hell my top four are Our Bum, Ketchup, Tall and Hairy, lol. I need a bigger group of friends gosh darn it.)

Ketchup had to work early tonight so I've spent the last glorious hour alone. I vacuumed and now I sit with this gunk on my head. (For reference, I haven't seen my natural hair color since I was in eighth grade. I actually haven't dyed it in a couple months but I decided if I am going to go visit grandma it should at least all be one normal color, light brown for now but I gotta say I prefer the reds. I am a redhead at heart, my hair proves it every time I try to get rid of it.) It's still another hour and a half until the hubby gets home, yay for that.

We've been playing UNO the past few nights and you really do forget about the camera a lot. We got one of those green florescent light bulbs and have been using that as our living room lighting. (It was awesome during the heat, you almost tricked yourself into thinking it was cool, heh.) After forgetting about the camera it's funny to hear someone ask, "So... why is your room green?" Orange Christmas lights and barely anybody comments but you go green and everyone wants to know why. Silly.

Oh yeah! I have become rather popular with teenage boys on Call of Duty 4, it's awesome. It's like several fifteen year old boys from Iowa that all know each other and some how they got it into their head that I was cool. One of them asked me to be his godmother, another calls me his ninja (I donno where that came from) and another giggles every time I laugh because he says he loves my laugh. The best part, someone talks shit to me, they step up and defend me. There is a kid we play with in UNO who is the same way, he verbally bitch slapped two different guys last night for being rude to me. Teenage boys can be so cute sometimes. I love it. God bless boys with sisters and moms.

Oop! My twenty-five minutes are up!

Every Road Leads Somewhere

When I was about seven or eight (still living in southern California) my mom and I loaded up the car with a couple suitcases, a stash of blankets and pillows, a big cooler full of goodies, and the Chihuahua and started out in the wee hours of the morning on our first trip back to the place that in a few years we would once again call home. It was a road trip of over one thousand miles of mind numbing freeway and I had control of the map. Not too much of a challenge given just how far I-5 can take you.

I had the back seat to myself, given my age and the fact that the dog had apparently called shotgun before I even had a chance. I slept until daylight and woke up in a different world.

Stimulated less the thoroughly by coloring books (never a good idea in a moving vehicle) and travel games (that are always less fun as an only child) I found myself staring out the window at the passing world. Fields and fields, miles and miles of one crop after another. Pasture after pasture of grazing cows.

I slept a lot, how could I not with so many miles passing below our tires. When the mountains neared, it was easy to see the road disappear into them. It was daunting and exciting at the same time as the green and tan pastures were left behind for rock and shadows.

With my mom in control of the radio, the vocals of Michael Bolton and Phil Collins became etched into my brain. Headphones and Raffi on tape were not enough to drown out a not so favorable rendition of "When A Man Loves a Woman.

As the higher peaks of road fell behind, I finally saw that first glimpse of true green that my mom spoke so fondly of. The palm trees were left far behind for evergreens with lakes and creeks running wild instead of so carefully controlled by the confines of cement that I was so used to. The grass was green, untorched by the summer sun. Flowers were everywhere, not just in well plotted boxes down the center of the street.

Oregon was much different the California I knew. (I was very sheltered, very.) There was a moment of realization when we crossed state lines. I remembered the maps from school and I had all but memorized the road map in my hands. We were a long way from home.

We stopped every so often, if nothing else then for a happy meal and a bathroom break. I was antsy of course, it's a long time for any child to be cooped up let alone a Chihuahua. The air smelled different the further north we went, cleaner maybe. I was ready to be there, my mom was ready to be done driving, but we still had a ways to go.

The day started to fall away for the early signs of dusk and my mom told me to check the map, we would need to start looking for our exit. My duties as navigator finally kicked in. She had taken me through the route before, I knew what to look for and my excitement could hardly be contained by that little SUV when I saw it. The sun fell behind the hills as we pulled off the freeway into this town that looked so completely different from the place I knew as home. Every house had a yard, some even with horses. Trees, real full green trees lined nearly every road and sidewalks fell away to rural paths. Everything was older here. Every tree, every house, every car.

We pulled into a gravel driveway (another novelty) belonging to a long time friend of my mom's and after seventeen hours on the road she turned the key and the car finally came to rest.

We were there. Back in the very town I was born in and spent the first few months of my life in. I didn't remember it of course, but my born and bred Californian mom was oddly enough home again.

"You can see the seasons here."

I was convinced.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Opportunities have been slim to devote to my time to my precious blog. I apologize my love.

Home sweet home... could be sweeter. Ketchup spent two nights at his buddy's house (after a five hour bus adventure to the next state) so the alone time was a bit nice. Especially after he ticked me off so royally. He usually plays the XBox when ever he gets the opportunity, nothing new there, but the other day he waited until after I woke up from my nap and came out into the living room to switch the television (away from Indiana Jones mind you) and turn on the 360 without so much as a word about it... except for the fact that he waited until after I got up (wait for it... this is good) so he wouldn't bother me... um, what? Didn't even ask if I wanted to play or anything. I gathered all of my things up and went back into my room. He played for the next two hours. I stayed in my room until the hubby got home.

During our glorious alone time Tall finally paid us a visit. Seems he and Sassy are really over this time. They had been moving back to their parents with plans to "work" on things along the way. This process doesn't work when the girl hangs out with another guy and lies to her boyfriend about it. They need some freedom from each other, at least for now. Even Tall has been enjoying hanging out with other people. I told him to be safe. He said "like STD's?" I said no, be safe with his heart. He went from a year and a half relationship to a year and a half relationship and neither ended up in a good place (thus far anyway) so I told him I would hit him if he got into another relationship anytime soon. Unfortunately Tall has now mentioned the prospect of the military service. While I respect those who fight to defend the rights of this country, I will never endorse people I know joining up. Call me selfish, but I don't ever want to loose someone that way.

While Tall was here we all watched the movie Juno. Awesome, I loved it, Ellen Page was exceptional and I've always had a non-dirty crush on Michael Cera. I am looking for the soundtrack as we speak. Yay free MySpace downloads!

Ketchup returned, surprisingly at pretty much the exact time he said he would be back. Hung over and filled with stories with huge alcohol filled gaps and an empty wallet, and no, he doesn't really know how it got that way. I have never gotten drunk enough to completely lose time. I can't even say I'm very impressed with stories about it, especially from someone with a heart condition. At this rate we are never gonna get rid of him. Oo, did I say that out loud?

Anyway, I'm getting distracted and that certainly is no shape to be blogging in. I will be back more often (hopefully) over the next few days, Ketchup has a five day work week! I love you my dear blog, I hope despite my neglect, you still love me.

Melting

So... Hot...

Too hot... to function...

I'll be back... if I don't... melt...

Dazed and Confused

(Awesome movie by the way.)

I live to post again! Can you believe I am still not over my cold? This damn cough just won't go away. It makes my ever so favorable pastime of smoking weed quite a hassle, I tell you what.

So... Updates then?

Starting with the brief topics:

Tall hasn't been by. (Neither has Sassy for that matter, haven't heard a peep from her.) As I mentioned he has been playing the "stupid" campaign mode of Call of Duty 4, and has now beat it and moved on to playing on the hardest difficulty. He's also doubled his gamerscore. Yeah. He's barely talked to us in the meantime. (Only a short exchange with the hubby over texts about going to the driving range, the preppy bastard, ha.) Okiee dokiee then.

Moving on, it looks like Prissy is moving out. Where? I don't know but Hairy moved in a roommate to make up the rent difference. I have the feeling he will be much more fun, sorry Prissy. (Update since I started this post: Looks like she no longer wants to move out. Who, besides me, saw that coming?)

Li'l Mama tried to pick another fight, not very surprising. She sent a message on MySpace about us "complaining" about her making some pounding noise one night and how if we have a problem with her we need to tell her verses her finding out about it second hand. (We aren't supposed to have noise loud enough to hear outside the apartments after ten.) First off, thanks Hairy (our second hand apparently. I told you gossip runs rampant around this building, you have to be careful what you say and who you say it around.) Second, if we had wanted to complain we would have texted her, but in reality we had been discussing this pounding noise and by the time we figured out it was Li'l Mama it had stopped. Hardly worth complaining about. Turns out she was pounding chicken and given that her baby daddy doesn't get off work until after ten, she surely couldn't have done it earlier. I'm sorry, but when did she get rid of her refrigerator? Other then that I can see no reason why she couldn't have pounded her chicken earlier then ten at night. But whatever, besides venting over her little letter filled with false niceties and subtle insults we didn't even bother responding, figuring any response would just antagonize her and that's just not worth it.

On the home front, could be better, could be worse. The hubby and I fought again over the issue with Ketchup. On a healthy note, we both know that fighting about him is not a good thing and not something we intend to keep on doing. I expressed my desperation over the situation. Not one part is all that bad but when you put everything together, I really don't think I should have to feel this way. I told the hubby he couldn't wait for the most convenient time to bring something up because in some cases that is taking weeks. I am not just venting, I am asking for help. I did my best to make this clear. (Having that day watched the episode of Yes Dear where Kim gets mad at Greg for trying to fix the problem when she just wanted him to listen, saying if she thought the problem could be fixed she would have done it herself. I am not in this position, I am fucking screaming for the hubby to fix it.) It took two days for "opportunity to present itself" but the hubby did finally get some things out in the open, like Ketchup trying to compete with our schedule instead of trying to match up with it as well as being considerate enough to enlighten us to his coming and goings. We'll see how things go from here, I am still kind of waiting to see a difference but progress is progress right?

Summer is deciding to rear it's ugly head over the next few days. (Sorry to those of you that like summer. I think I need to find out if SAD- Seasonal Affective Disorder, works the other way around because I am definitely better perked on gray rainy days. HA! I took a minute to look it up and there is reverse SAD! Hell yeah baby!) Tomorrow is going to be in the high eighties and into the mid nineties the day after that, sucky suck suck. This apartment is horrible in the heat, especially thanks to the little fact that heat rises and we are on the equivalent of the third floor. The increased bug population does nothing for my mental state either. This is one of the few reasons I am truly glad that Ketchup is here during the days. My own personal bug killer, and I have let him know this fact repeatedly.

Since June is sneaking up rapidly I put a counter on my desktop to count down the days until we leave for California. Can you believe it's only thirty three days? I feel like there is so much to do and not nearly enough money to do it with. Spending money will be very tight, I am really hoping (or depending) on my family to be generous for my birthday (which is only twenty one days away) and like the last time they funded our trip down there. Last time we came home with more money then we left with plus souvenirs. Yeah, I know I am selfish, but I am also very (if not too) aware of my family's income compared to ours. They can afford to be generous. (Except for maybe the uncle with a gambling problem, but that's probably a story for another day.)

I looked up the dates we are going to be at Disneyland and can you believe "It's a Small World" is going to be closed due to refurbishment? The hubby's second trip there and it's closed again. Damn it all. I know it's not the best of rides but it is certainly a must do at least once, right? Tradition and all that crap. As far as we can tell Space Mountain will be open, awesome! It hasn't been open like the last five times I have been to the happiest place on earth, oh so sad. On the hubby's first trip (and only) trip to Disneyland, not only was It's a Small World and Space Mountain closed, but the Haunted Mansion and Thunder Mountain were closed as well. Come on Disney, get on the ball! One of the days we are going is a Friday and they are open until midnight, I can't wait to go on Thunder Mountain (and a few others) in the dark.

I have been looking up the little town I used to grow up in. A Californian I am not (rain is in my blood and how I do like actually seeing the seasons) but I do miss that little stretch of beach I called home. There's quite a bit online about my old little town, everything from a celebrity (my grandma lives four blocks from a fairly famous couple) or two that live there to the Mother's Day Art Festival or even the Halloween dog costume contest. I always look forward to seeing it again, the home that isn't home any more but it's still kind of home in a way and that way is mainly grandma.

I miss my grandma. I am kind of afraid to see her again, she's added a cane to her attire and for a woman who besides shrinking an inch or two hasn't changed in my whole life, it seems a little daunting for me. The hubby would call my grandma stubborn. I wish there was a nicer way to say it but really I have to agree. She's the type of woman who doesn't want to learn something new because she doesn't have to (for example, her television remote control, don't get me started. This woman will never e-mail.)

I'll be spending some quality time with my uncles as well. One who is still a big kid and the other who teaches kids (teenagers) but I think forgot how to be one. It should all be fun regardless. The big kid is taking us to an Angels game, yay! I may live in the pacific northwest but the Angels will always be my home team. It's been a VERY long time, probably nearing a decade... maybe I should look at who is actually on the team now... hmm. Is Mo Vaughn still around? (Did I just date myself?)

It's taken me forever to write this dang post. I'm distracted by vodka, weed and video games. A lethal combination if you ask me. I think I am gonna try to wrap this thing up because it's nearly one in the morning and I still haven't had dinner. How... typical, actually. Anyway, I love you all and I am sorry I haven't been around more. Sickness and distractions, it sucks, I know. I will try to be more avid (once again) because god knows I need it.

Night all! (Or morning... or whatever!)

Rants, Raves and Revelations

I'm feeling better, only a semi horrible cough remains and it seems someone at least turned down the faucet that my nose has become. I woke up pissed this morning and I thought I'd come and tell you all the reasons why. Joy.

First off, Ketchup hooked up a cell phone and within hours was being picked up by a friend who was willing to drive over a half hour to come get him. The hubby and I were left with a gloriously unexpected night alone which would have been perfect if I hadn't basically been screwed the next day. Ketchup said he would probably be spending the night with his friend again, yay us, not only did it mean another night alone, but a day that I could actually resume the schedule I have so lovingly missed and actually get something done. After the hubby left for work, I took a nap. A quiet uninterrupted nap. I woke up with every intension of getting some shit done, like mopping, something I haven't been given a chance to do in over two months, ugh. Unfortunately I also awoke to a text from the hubby saying Ketchup was on his way home. Got to say I would have done my day differently if I had known this would happen. So expected in the next hour, I hurried around doing what little chores I could, saying "fuck it" to mopping since I wouldn't have enough time. A couple hours later, after the hubby got off work in fact, Ketchup finally showed up. (He had said 3-4 hours, it had been six.) Good to know I could have mopped but blew it off to wait for Ketchup to get home.

More Ketchup: I can't help but stare at the green Bic lighter sitting in front of him right now. (He's sitting on the couch playing Call of Duty 4.) Last night his lighter died and he resorted to using matches for his cigarettes while at work. This green lighter sitting in front of him? Mine actually. It was sitting half buried in a tray next to my side of the couch (wait... I don't have a side anymore...) and now he has it and I bet you a dollar he will never say a word about it.

How about next to the couch? Sitting right next to the couch right in front of a garbage can, he keeps stacking clothes. My cats are going to piss on it eventually so last night I finally got fed up and moved them. This morning? A whole new stack of clothes. And these are work clothes, smelling of food and grease. Is it just me or is that like an engraved invitation to the cats?

Went to take a shower this morning and ended up soaking my pajamas. Why? Ketchup re aimed the showerhead again, even after it was mentioned that it was a problem. Same thing with locking the door, the hubby mentioned that he should lock the deadbolt, not the doorknob because that's all he has a key to and it still hasn't made a difference. Ketchup needs to learn that what he does affects other people. I guess part of the problem here would be the hubby. He picks the most non chalant way to say something to Ketchup, and that's if he says anything at all. I keep using the word "disregarded" with the hubby but it doesn't seem to have much impact anymore.

Oh well. That's what it always seems to add up to. I'm wrong. Again.

Enough with Ketchup, on to Tall. I don't think it has actually happened yet but Tall and Sassy still seem to be moving back to their parent's house. Tall hasn't been around much, better things to do and all and except for the other night we haven't seen or heard from Sassy at all. Out of nowhere the other night Tall texted and asked if he and Sassy could come hang out. Blink. Didn't they break up? What the fuck ever, sure, come over. Except for the fact that they are moving to different places nothing seems to have changed. However I do kind of wonder if the reason it took Tall days to stop by was because Sassy wouldn't let him come over without her. Again, nothing has changed, has it?

I am still trying to figure out if Tall when out of his way to offend me or not. I told him (because I am so friggin' proud of myself) that I beat Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4. He responded with basically that the campaign mode is stupid (along with the 360 gamerscore, which mine is three times his) and multiplayer is all that's worth it. Is that why he has been playing campaign mode the past few days? Is that why he's added over a hundred points to his score? Why'd he have to belittle my achievements? To make himself feel good? Yesterday he wouldn't even accept a game invite I sent him, even though he was already playing the same game. Instead he ignored me and then a while later signed off. Jokes on him though, my multiplayer rank in Call of Duty 4 is higher then his too. I bet he'll find a way to make me feel bad about that too.

Moving on, in an attempt to turn around the way this day is already making me feel... XBox Live has been a great way to meet people from all over the world. Last night the hubby and I were playing a game of Uno with someone from Texas, Tennessee and one from Scotland. It's awesome. I actually just friend requested (on MySpace) the chick from Tennessee, she's just great. The guy from Texas is someone we have been chatting and playing with for a couple weeks now. He's only fourteen but you wouldn't be able to tell by listening to him. I tell ya, it's proof that maturity is not about age.

On a final note, my dear doppelganger, my desire for a friend on my side led me to think about you this morning. The idea of drinking, giggling and chatting until the wee hours of the morning seems blissful. My friend in the dark, you give me light. You have become a part of my heart and I thank you for it.

Salvation

Thy name is NyQuil.

I'm not over it, but at least I am functional, the main issue now is that I am so sore and weak from all the coughing I have already done that I can't cough hard enough to get past this horrible wheezing in my chest. Sounds fun, don't it? Ears and nose are still fucked up too. All I can say is at least it's happening now instead of just over a month from now as we are getting ready to leave on vacation.

A brief update before I shuffle back to my pile of tissues and plenty of fluids. The last couple days I have found my inner gamer girl and have been absorbed in that glorious fictional world of first person shooters. I accomplished something I can only consider monumental (to me at least.) I, me, and only me all by myself, before the hubby or Ketchup, beat Halo 3. Yay! I'll pat myself on the back and whatever else for that in particular goal. It was only in the past couple years I had gotten into any of those type of games and this was the first time I had played through let alone finished the campaign mode. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to beat Ketchup to the punch on Call of Duty 4, which I played for hours on Sunday but he ended up completing it this morning. It's not like there isn't more to do, there is still beating both games on harder difficulties and then the whole online multiplayer side of things to build up. I gotta say though, I like being able to keep up with the boys.

Other then that, I haven't done much. No really. I seriously need to do the dishes. It would be easier if I could go more then five minutes without coughing but so far I have really only been able to do that with the aid of NyQuil... oh sweet salvation... oh sweet sleep. Damn that sounds good right about now...

Death Bed Confession

I swear I haven't forgotten about you, I've just been knocked on my ass by another cold. Four hours of sleep in the past two days isn't enough I tell you. This morning I coughed for three hours straight. I'm miserable and sore. I'll be back when the pounding in my head ebbs and allows me to think of something decent say.

Much love!

Shadowboxing

No time for a long post but I will say this: Today is payday and Ketchup's check is smaller then everyone but I figured it would be. Should be interesting. Ketchup is wearing himself thin when it comes to funds. First off, he wants a cell phone. This guy hasn't even touched our phone in the month and a half he's been here and only checked his e-mail like four times. What does he need a two hundred dollar phone and a fifty-five dollar a month plan for? How about the video game components he has promised to give us money for? I probably could have waited to get Call of Duty 4 but he offered to give us some money for the purchase along with a few other things. Of course not forgetting cigarettes, he also wants to buy an ounce of weed and he still needs to give us funds towards bills and groceries. Of all the things on his shopping list, what do you suppose will suffer because he can't cover it all?

By the way, last night the hubby and I proved we do actually fight. It was the first time alone in four days so I took the opportunity to speak up about all the things I had held my tongue over, especially my need to be acknowledged in this whole situation. His main issue with our current living arrangement is the lack of "private time" and I needed him to know it was much more then that for me. Unintentionally he turned it around on me, basically saying it was my fault that Ketchup didn't get out more. Apparently I had seemed apprehensive about the idea of the hubby spending a few of the precious hours he had off during his weekend driving Ketchup around the old neighborhood and what not while I sit home excluded.

Of course he didn't mean to offend me, but that really didn't stop it from happening, and to make things worse, boys always expect you to just get over things. I don't. I didn't. I cried. He panicked. I let him know that this is why it's hard to come to him with things. I don't have anyone else, I need him and sometimes that means I just need him to let me be upset without making me feel worse for being upset in the first place. He gets it but in the heat of the moment it's easily forgotten.

Despite this, or because of this, it shows the strength of our relationship. We fought and cried and are no worse for the wear. Perhaps more enlightened then before but it's over. We got it out and we're better for it.

Too bad it doesn't fix our problems with Ketchup though, heh.