Mumbles, Musings and Mothering

It kind of feels like things are back to normal.

Today was a typical day for me, a short nap so I didn't have to watch the clock so closely, a little bit of soaps, some cleaning and I am pretty sure I am going to make those butterscotch cookies I said I wanted to make. The hubby is at work, along with the houseguest (they started him out making two dollars more an hour then they started the hubby at, suppose it's the five year difference?)

People have been dropping by every day, especially in the evening. Last night it was Tall that joined us in video games, dinner and smoking. Yes he and Sassy have separated, it even sounds like she is packing up her stuff and moving, and even with her texting him every two minutes, he was so much more the Tall we have always known then the one she had been turning him into. Sassy even texted me last night, saying she was at a party that she shouldn't be at and she could stop thinking of her boyfriend because he cheated on her and wanted advice. Everything I responded with, I said before. If you can't forgive him then you've answered your own question. You know he is a good guy who fucked up, not a fuck up pretending to be a good guy. If you can't find it in yourself to trust him, why are you trying to be with him? It's not fair to either of you. I told her she was too young to figure out "together forever" and that she was eighteen, enjoy it.

One of the weirdest conversations to have with another girl by the way, is about not liking girls. What's great is when they agree with you. Sassy is such a teenage girl, chances are she still will be for several years to come. It still annoys me to no end that she complains about her rich parents never helping her. Her parents pay her rent and for her schooling. What she is actually complaining about is that they won't give her a car and pay for her insurance. I kept telling her it's actually better that she do it on her own.

My mom gave me her old piece of shit car and paid my insurance for years. She also guilted me about it every chance she got. She held that power over my head and I felt it constantly. Over two years ago the car my mom gave me died, (while I was driving, god I hate that.) We went several months without a car before we bought one all on our own for three hundred dollars. A guy the hubby worked with was moving back to Mexico and needed cash more then a car he couldn't take with. We were able to make payments, it was awesome. We were even responsible about it, besides bringing the car home, we didn't drive it again until we were driving down to the insurance agent to buy our own insurance. (The agent gave us permission to do so, heh.) Paid for all by ourselves, having nothing to do with my mom. It was the last thing she could hold over me. It felt great to finally look up and instead of seeing her brooding above me, I saw blue skies.

Sassy doesn't get it, she doesn't even want to get it. She feels she deserves to be spoiled and pampered and that her family should give her money simply because they have it. I have an aunt living the good life in Aspen, and taking trips to the Italian Alps, do you see me with my hand out? Nope. If my family wants to share their wealth, they do and I thank them for it, hence our pending trip to California, but I didn't ask for it and I wouldn't ask for it. I take satisfaction in knowing we can live on our own without the aid of parents paying our rent or something, even though I wouldn't turn down help if it was offered. It's a fine line, and I guess it isn't for everyone.

I wish I had a big huge house (that I could afford mind you) with a bunch of extra rooms. We could start our family and not worry about the space, but also be able to help out people like our houseguest who need a place to stay. I want to be like Kitty from That 70's show, have a place where people can come and feel comfortable and if need be we can make room for a stray. (Except unlike Kitty, I'd probably be hosting the circle, not oblivious to it.) I like having people around. I think this is just my biological clock ticking in my ear, I want kids. It sounds weird, but I want the control that comes with being a parent. When kids are young, you can kiss their boo boos, make everything okay and send them on their way to play again. With teenagers and adults, you can give them as much advice as you want, but it's up to them to actually act on it. I feel like my kids are grown and I've just missed out on those younger more impressionable years where everything was easy. I am too young to feel that way. I think I need my own kids to push my mothering impulses on because with my friends, not only are they too old to be mothered, but most of them have their own mother's filling that position.

It's scary seeing my mom in myself. This whole "mothering" issue is directly from her. I've seen it in action. My mom has always worked with a bunch of guys, truck drivers, mechanics, that type of things. Always giving advice (not always her strong suit, but oh well) and being mindful of the little things like whether or not they've had lunch or whatever. So often she has sarcastically been called mom by someone other then me, it's strange. Apparently not so strange though because I haven't been able to divert myself from the same behavior. God help me, I am becoming my mother. The worst part? I think I'm getting her laugh.

I hope Tall enjoys this time away from Sassy. I love the guy (not like that, believe me, he's not my type) and he's almost twenty one and he deserves to enjoy it. His past two relationships have progressed to "together forever" way quicker then they should have, causing his interest to dwindle out of fear, however he's unwilling to do anything about it when it gets to that point. I'm not sure if it's the nice guy in him or the fear of confrontation. Which is why the try, try again mentality is applied. Neither of them are in a place in their lives where they need to worry about that. They don't even know what they are going to school for, why should they assume that they want to know who they want to spend the rest of their life with?

Guys mainly, are skiddish when it comes to commitment (mainly, girls are not excluded from this generalization) and you make it real with talk of a ring and kids and the colors of the flowers for the wedding and most likely the guy will be at least screaming inside his own head if not running for the nearest bus station. Most girls try to move so fast, like everything is about this ultimate goal that you have to accomplish before the other girls do.

My advice? Take the time to enjoy it, to enjoy the other person, to enjoy who you are with them. Even if it isn't together forever, it doesn't have to be something you regret. Learn something for goodness sakes! People are fucking complicated, embrace it! Even if it ends, take something good from it. Stop worrying about the what ifs and the far future long enough to not miss it. It's hard to coexist, just stop making it harder then it has to be. I think I should paste this on my forehead, maybe it would be clearer to the people I constantly repeat it too.

I'm just going to take this moment to say I love my hubby. While we were still trying to figure out who we were, we were lucky enough to be moving in the same direction together and wanted to embrace who we were becoming. I fell in love with him, not who I thought I could turn him into, and whatever changes the future put us through, I still wanted it to be with him rather then without him. We were lucky, I know it and I say it often. Neither of us are the same person we were when we met.

Back then we were both in high school, him dealing with the monotony that school had become to him and me dealing with the social graces of a swarm of bitches. We progressed, he left school, I left my social group, it was after that we finally got together. He had already gained the independence I was struggling for with my mom and in a way he gave me the confidence to keep up the good fight. We moved out of our mother's homes and into an apartment together. Yes we had problems, everyone did, especially with the transition to living together, it's not easy. We made our way through it and you know, we actually liked who we were becoming with each other. We were (are) stronger together. We make each other strong. The idea of marriage was toyed with, but I was in no rush and felt no urge to rush him. The idea of kids was toyed with, I think I'm what made him want kids, because he used to say he didn't like kids, and then it was "other people's" kids he didn't like, and now... now he is looking forward to having kids, with me. After we had gotten engaged (it was all very unofficial) it was probably a year and a half before we finally headed down to the court house.

You know how I know it was the right decision? We were in a place that it didn't change anything but my last name. We were already that married couple who were planning and living a life together. I'm not talking about sex. If you want to wait until marriage to have sex, more power to you, but personally, wouldn't that be a horrible way to find out you were incompatible? And learning to live together could be detrimental to any relationship as well. I'm glad we went through all that before we added the ring that implied forever.

Speaking of sex! Wow, completely off topic and probably WAY too much information, with the houseguest here, the hubby and I haven't been "intimate" in over a week. Who ever said that girls don't have needs too was a fucking liar. Ha!

Well, I had better wrap this up, it would probably be slightly embarrassing if the hubby and houseguest got home while I was chatting about the naked samba. Plus I still haven't made those damn cookies yet, sheesh. Blogger, the ultimate time waster!

Dancing Naked

Either my cold is dwindling once again or the antihistamines are actually working, either way, I'm here and I feel decent. I'm home alone, have been for hours! The hubby and the houseguest are at work. I could dance around naked if I wanted.

You'll never realize how nice it is to be alone when you haven't been more then twenty feet from another person for a week straight. I cleaned. I vacuumed, dusted, all that good stuff that is difficult to do when someone is watching your every move or standing directly in your way.

I am going to make dinner for my "men" tonight. (I bake, not cook, so this doesn't happen often.) Kielbasa sausage and sour kraut with garlic bread. I am still debating on whether or not to make the bread myself or used the store bought sliced stuff we already have. It all depends on how much effort I am willing to put into the whole thing. The cookie population within my cookie jar is rapidly declining, I think it's time to make some more. I'm thinking butterscotch chip. Cookies are great munchie food by the way.

I'm watching my soaps for the first time in a week and a half, I've kept updated online with what's going on but it still feels like I've missed so much. As I have said before, soap operas are an annoying addiction. Do you suppose there is a patch? A gum maybe?

On the 360 front, I am thoroughly hooked. I've been playing UNO all morning and honestly it's more then I have ever played that game in my lifetime. I love it. Getting a 360 has invited us into this huge amazing world of gamers, something that feels cool to be a part of. When it says 251,834 players on Halo 3, I am one of them, yay! I'm a nerd, I'll be the first to admit it. It's not everyone's cup of tea, I know. Too many buttons! What ever happened to the original Nintendo? Believe me, I've said it all before and every once and a while I am sure to say it again. There is a great sense of accomplishment that comes with being able to keep up with the big boys. (I can't really beat them yet, but I'm sure trying!) Plus the hubby loves video games and I love the hubby, why wouldn't I try to share his interest and make it my own?

Want some news on Tall and Sassy? Didn't think so, but I am going to tell you anyway. Looks like they are splitting, again. Not surprised, again. It all sounds a little more real this time but really I can't see it being anything but good for them. I typically do my best to not take sides, to each his own and I just try to be friends with whoever wants to be friends with me, keep it simple, yes? If you asked me in this situation, I got to say I'd stand behind Tall. Yes he has screwed up royally in the past, but he has owned up to it and has basically been punished repeatedly for it. Sassy on the other had has never owned up to what she could possibly be doing wrong in the relationship. It's all his fault. Even now she is blaming him for her wanting to separate. Duh. I told her, more then once, not to take him back if she didn't forgive him. It's not fair to either of them. She took him back, and due to her MySpace blog today it's obvious she never forgave him. Tall was here last night, and despite the pretty blatant stress of his current situation, he was able to loosen up more then I have seen him do so in a while. He didn't have to worry about getting into trouble for smoking a cigarette or a bowl. He shouldn't have to. I'm going to take a guess and say he will be here again tonight. That's fine, I like taking care of all my boys. (Sorry girls, you just typically don't want me taking care of you so I will settle for taking care of your boyfriends, and no, I don't mean that dirty, it's the future mom in me talking.)

It's looking more and more like our vacation may actually happen. My mom is having me look for good prices for the plane tickets and from the sound of it my uncle has already gotten us tickets to an Angels game, awesome! My uncle (the big kid that he is) is the one who had taken me to Disneyland so many times growing up. The last time I went, the hubby's first trip, my uncle didn't come because he had recently had a hip replacement and couldn't do that much walking. From the sound of it he has asked if we want to do Disneyland again, I wonder if that means he will come, selfishly I bet it at least means he will pay for it. I am probably easily the poorest person in the family so I don't end up feeling too bad when family members splurge on me. Plus my birthday is in June and I am a step closer to thirty, I want to be spoiled.

We were thinking of also heading down to Hollywood to play tourist. It's free to just walk down the street, right? I've heard that Mike Myers star is right in front of a head shop, heh, I wouldn't mind checking that out if my uncle doesn't take that day trip with us. (Lucy's star is in front of Fredrick's of Hollywood, isn't that awesome?) I've also put the seed of inspiration into my uncle's head about perhaps going out to eat at the House of Blues. The hubby would love to go there, even if there was no one performing. When we were there before, we only made it as far as the gift shop, which in itself was still dang cool.

It feels so nice to be able to blog freely again. No rushing, no paranoia that someone might see what I am writing. Not that I have said anything bad about the houseguest or anything, but it would probably be a little weird if he knew I was talking about him. Plus, home alone I can walk away from the computer without closing or covering up the Blogger window. It makes me think of those websites with a panic button that redirects you to a finance page or something so your boss doesn't know you are goofing around. I'm the boss dammit, I shouldn't need a panic button.

Which brings me to an update on the apartment search. Oh wait, there really isn't anything to update you with. We have made no progress what so ever. Financially the best option doesn't have a washer and dryer or allow pets. (I am not getting rid of my kids- oh I mean cats.) On the other had, the places that seem to have everything we want are about a hundred dollars a month more then we can afford without severely cutting back in every aspect of our daily lives. Like food. Or more importantly weed.

Completely off topic but I found the Blogger page of a very old friend, it's actually the daughter of my mom's best friend that I have mentioned here. I was able to read it for about two days before she made it invite only. It's like the private MySpace pages you always encounter when spying into people's lives, it's always freaking frustrating.

I'm taking so long to write this post that my decision on whether or not to make bread for tonight may be made for me as I run out of time to do so. The soaps playing in the background is a great distraction, though I am not sure I have actually watched much of them. I got the gist of it, that counts right? Off to bake I go then. I'm officially alone tomorrow, so yay! I'll be back and I'll try to make it good!

Later 'gator!

My Apologies

I don't have much to say today. My cold, that had dwindled to near nothing has reared it's ugly head again so I am stuck searching for the off switch on the faucet my nose has become. That and the sneezing, god I wish I could stop sneezing! My right eye is in a constant state of watering in anticipation of the next sneeze. Ugh. So fluids and rest for me, this evening fluids will probably include of alcohol and rest will probably include Halo 3 but I'm not complaining. I am sure I will have a nice long post for you tomorrow because the houseguest starts his new job and I'll have the apartment all to myself for the first time in a week. Guaranteed tomorrow will also include a nap. I love naps.

My apologies for the lack of effort today!
Love ya!

Outdated and Updated

Oh dear blog, how I have neglected you! I have felt the withdrawals, have you?

Just to catch you up on life, here goes: The weekend was mainly filled with movies and video games. Usually it's television and video games but when free preview weekend rolls around all the rules go out the window. Sunday evening I went out to Easter dinner with my mom. We went to the hubby's restaurant and I had full intension's of sneaking him out with me, even if I had to tuck him beneath my coat and run. Luckily that didn't have to happen, just as my mother dearest was paying the bill, he had smooth talked his way into escaping. Nifty!

Onto our weekend, not the actual weekend. Monday consisted of grocery shopping followed by cooking and drinking. Eventful, huh? Tuesday brought surprises. A knock at the door at ten in the morning caused us all to exchange looks. Turns out it was the mail man with a registered letter for the hubby to sign for. We open the letter and along with a short note saying "Hi ___, I love you! Mom." there was a double take worthy money order. A full month's rent was printed on that little piece of paper so of course it merited a call to the hubby's mom. She had gotten some extra with her tax return and sent all three of her kids a check. Wow. Thanks mom(in-law)! We had no real purpose in mind for the money but it did slightly open up the options on what to do that day. We headed out to the thrift store, it was ninety-nine cent day, always awesome. Only spent fourteen bucks but we still got a good haul.

After that we headed to GameCrazy. This is where my heart rate started to rise. The coveted next step in our gamer collection sat there as if it had an ominous glow and a choir singing "Hallelujah" in revelation. It almost hurt when the guy slid our bank card, that total was bigger then any purchase we have ever made (besides rent.) I am now the proud owner of a (used) XBox 360. Yes, yes, congratulate me. I don't have buyer's remorse, I have purchasers remorse, it's the actual handing over of the money that makes my stomach turn. Last night we played Halo 3. I have seen the promised land and I am not going back. Halo 3 is awesome. I don't remember the last time I picked up a new game and was actually decent at it, thank you Halo 2 for that. I actually got a kill before the hubby, hell yeah!

Moving on, we are waiting for the landlord to come do some sort of inspection. Good luck. We have so much crap (yes, crap is the right word) that I wonder if there is anything visible to inspect. Pfft, speak of the devil and he shall appear. They were just here inspecting. You know, the usual, mold around the windows, lack of electrical outlets, blah, blah, blah. We have heard it all before, is it going to get fixed? Probably not. The hubby thinks it's a refinancing effort on part of the owner, either that or he has the urge to sell again. Either way, it's finally over, time to smoke a cigarette and spark up a bowl, ha! Now where did I hide that bong...

Our houseguest had an interview at the hubby's work at one, by quarter till two, the boss called and gave him the job. Awesome, yes? A contributing houseguest! You don't understand how amazing that is for the hubby and I. Perfect considering the landlord will try to start charging us more as soon as he finds out our houseguest has stayed longer then three days. (Timing is everything, it was only like a month and a half ago that the landlord sent out letters concerning this topic. Technically any other apartment will give you like two weeks for guests, but when has this place ever been technical?) We figure we will enlighten the landlord sooner or later, heh.

Anyway, I'll try to be back later, because at the moment I feel a little watched and that's no way to blog honestly. Plus, I'm hungry, my tummy has been rumbling for a while now and as the commercial says "hunger get what hunger want." Hmm... now I want a Ballpark Frank... I hate that commercial.

Media Madness

We are a very media orientated family. Currently, right this minute, we have two televisions on as well as the computer. Me blogging, the houseguest on the little television playing Halo 2 and Top Gear playing on the big one. Is that an overload or what?

When I was growing up, I don't really remember the television being off. It was always there, in the background, even if no one was watching it. I was a Disney child. Back when the Disney channel was still a premium, we got a free preview that they never turned off. Thank you to stupid cable companies.

I admit I watch the boob tube too much, I'm a lazy couch potato stoner. Is that really a bad thing though? I enjoy it, I'm not hurting anyone by doing it and believe it or not, I have acquired quite a bit of knowledge through the power of television consumption.

The internet is becoming an appealing outlet under this same reasoning. I spent the morning on YouTube. It was fun. After having seen the movie "Hot Fuzz" last night (HBO and Cinemax free preview, yay!) it made me want to watch the show "Black Books." Probably haven't heard of it if you don't have BBC or something but it is an awesome show. Well, YouTube has it. If you are going to watch it, start with episode one: Cooking the Books.

The other day I got sucked into taking a bunch of surveys. Never really been a fan but I found some cool ones, at least ones that entertained me long enough to actually do them. Here are a few of the niftier ones:

25%

17

98%ALCOHOLIC

Ha! So yeah, I get on the computer to do something relatively productive like blogging and ended up doing that. Have I lost respect for myself? Not yet, give it time.

I don't think I will ever drift away from our media induced society, I'm in love with all forms of entertainment you don't have to leave your house for. Laugh please. We currently own a NES, Nintendo 64, Nintendo GameCube, PlayStation, PlayStation 2 and the XBox (with over a hundred games for the XBox alone,) and can you believe we aren't done yet? XBox 360 is next, mainly for Halo 3, I love you Bungie! Can't wait to see what they do next.

Anyway, I promise to come up with something more substantial in the way of posts here soon. It's a little awkward to be sitting here typing when someone new is sitting eight feet away. Anonymous blog remember? The hubby is all who knows. I feel like I'm being sneaky or something. It will get easier, I just have to get more comfortable. Maybe after tomorrow evening I'll have something interesting. My mom is taking me out to dinner for Easter (weird considering once I let go of the Easter Bunny game she kept pushing me to play past the age of fourteen, Easter kind of meant nothing anymore.) So off I go to try to entertain myself and the houseguest for the next six hours until the hubby comes home. Easier freaking said then done by the way!

Today and Tomorrow

I spent the whole afternoon cleaning, I mean down on your hands and knees kind of cleaning. Our houseguest arrives in the morning and I think this place looks pretty suitable. We are still trying to figure out where he is going to put his stuff due to our lack of room but hey, we've made room before, we'll do it again.

The hubby is downright giddy, though I am sure that is not the word he'd use. This is his buddy since way back in fifth grade and it's been years since they have seen each other, I bet it will be a good reunion.

I'm looking forward to the small but extra income this houseguest can provide, is that selfish? Tomorrow will be a learning experience, I get to spend the day alone with the hubby's buddy. I am sure it will be awkward but then again, I am always awkward around people I don't know very well. By the first time I go to watch my soaps, I bet he will be out the door looking for a job. A big difference between him and our last houseguest who was perfectly content to watch my "stories" with me. He was a General Hospital fan, who couldn't love Sonny?

Speaking of soap opera fans, Snoop Dog will be guest staring on One Life to Live in the second week of May. Yes, he is a fan, thank his mom for that unbelievable fact. I know this had nothing to do with anything but I thought it was interesting.

So... I guess we'll see how much an extra person impairs my blogging. I took a quiz yesterday that says I am 54% addicted to blogging so I bet it won't hinder me much. Anyway, I'm just waiting for the hubby to get home now. Tonight will probably be our last night alone for a while so we are going to try and enjoy it.

P.S. To my Doppelganger, I hope you are having a great vacation! Miss you hun!

Hell, Housing and the Houseguest

It's official, our houseguest will be here Friday. The ticket has been bought, there is no turning back now. I have the feeling it will be a great learning experience, I know it will at least be an adjustment. (I'm actually IMing the guy as we speak, heh.)

Friday should be interesting. The hubby is going to pick his buddy up in the morning, come back here and hang out for a short while, then head off to work leaving me and his buddy to entertain ourselves. We haven't seen each other in roughly six years.

I don't think I am going to get a nap that day or any day for the foreseeable future. (Yes, nap. Sooner or later I have to catch up for the lack of sleep during the night time hours, right?) I wonder how much this will affect my blogging. I typically head out into the living room before the hubby wakes up and start typing away. Starting Friday, my living room will be occupied during that time. Last night even, I couldn't sleep and abandoned the effort for the comfort of the couch and early morning television. After Friday, do I just suffer? The hubby needs his sleep for work so I can't be going and waking him up every time I can't sleep, but I don't think I could handle just sitting there in bed listening to him snore because I can't retreat to the living room, sorry baby. I have the feeling I will be pulling out my last resort, some over the counter sleep aids that I got a while back "just in case."

Speaking of our small apartment and not having anywhere to go, we checked out an apartment this morning. Not too shabby, big living room, a dishwasher, linen closets! It's not a townhouse and it's a little run down but no big deal, however I don't think the place has washer and dryer hook-ups or a laundry facility, big downside. I e-mailed them to ask about it, and haven't heard anything back yet. This morning we also called the place that we'd love to get into simply because it has everything we want including an affordable price. No openings yet, but we talked to the guy and he took our name down. There is no official waiting list, but he said he would call us if something opened up. Could be worse, eh?

Our houseguest is going to flame the urgency in which we want to move but he certainly isn't the only kindling we have to deal with. The landlord as I have said, is very unofficial. So unofficial in fact that he set up an area downstairs to rent out. I say area, because it isn't so much as an apartment, as it is a room, with all common areas shared. Shared bathroom, shared kitchen, shared "living areas." Those rooms used to be private music studios but apparently he gave up on that idea and is going for the commune idea. We didn't figure anyone would actually rent it out down there, but apparently people have, and to make matters worse, the landlord has promised them apartments up here. There are two reasons that bothers me. For one, all the apartments up here are full with no one having given notice. And two, that means that the landlord is planning on screwing us again.

For years when there was empty apartments the landlord kept telling us to try and find people who wanted to live here, so when we finally did it was kind of a kick in the gut that he cut us off to let someone else in. We have been playing the "get screwed" game for over two years now. The last time the landlord let in his nephew instead of our buddy who had been waiting for months, he knew he had done it and apologized repeatedly. Apparently he wasn't that sorry if he has plans on doing it again. Don't promise apartments to people if you have already promised it to someone else! Is it really that difficult?

So yeah, now there is grungy guys hanging out at the bottom of our stairs smoking, basically talking about getting our apartment. Have I already said that I want to move? I know that since we are moving, the unofficial politics of this place would better be ignored, but sheesh, it would be nice if our remaining time here in a building that we have called home for nearly seven years, was actually pleasant. No one even knows we are moving yet, why does it feel like we are being pushed out? Hell, that's the main reason we haven't told anyone yet, was to avoid that feeling in the first place.

On a different note, we had a full house last night. Tall and Sassy came over, then two of their friends (which it looks like they only came over because Tall was hooking them up) and then Prissy came over. Sassy is wearing on my nerves. All the time she is basically "pay attention to me!" just without those exact words, usually. She makes Tall drop whatever he is doing so he can come stroke her ego, "yes baby, anything baby" but when he tries to get her attention while she is messing with her cell phone or something, "No! I'm playing a game! Go away!" She's not just playing irritated either, that's all her. She's one of those people who says "I am amazing" and completely believes it, I am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Anyway, my growing irritation with her is making her voice sound like fingernails on a chalk board. I never wish for couples to break up, even if they ARE wrong for each other, every relationship is a learning situation, even if it isn't together forever, together now still means a lot. So I don't wish that Tall and Sassy break up... but I do wish Tall would fucking man up.

You should be equals in a relationship, you shouldn't have to ask permission to smoke a cigarette, have a drink, hang out with friends or take a shit. There's a difference between being considerate and being whipped. My hubby knows he can go hang out with the guys from work every once in a while, he asks my permission because he wants to, not because I require him to. He could tell me he was going without the whole "asking" formality and it would still be fine. My job in part is to keep this happy little home a place he wants to come home to, and to realize it isn't a personal attack when he wants to do something that I don't. Novel idea isn't it? And it goes both ways. I have been a smoker since before the hubby met me, and though he expresses his wish that I quit, he never once told me that I have to. Being in a relationship isn't about allowing anything, it's about accepting everything. Is Sassy just too young to see it? Or too blond? (I'm talking mentality, not actual hair color.)

I wonder how our houseguest is going to get along with our friends. I have the feeling we'll be sharing some eye rolls in the future. On the other hand, I wonder how our friends are going to respond to our houseguest. What's the best way of saying this without being insulting to anyone out there? Personality wise he is a little on the "shizzy" side of things, at least in comparison to our middle class white as hell friends. I love sociology experiments. Student of the people, eh? I just wait and let the people come to me because I'm too lazy to go out into the world and see them. Hell yes, I'm a stoner and I am proud.

As always, I'm pretty sure I started out with a point to all this but I just lost it somewhere along the way. It's probably hiding somewhere in there, behind all the words, scared of the onslaught of the preverbal dictionary falling upon it. I'm sure it was a good point too, well dressed and well mannered, good hygiene and all. Actually, thinking about it, am I talking about my point or the brain cells I lost during that last bowl? Either way, it's in here somewhere for Blogger to devour and I hope it's a good meal.

:o)
Later 'gator!

Typing Too Loud

Vodka
Rum
Tequila
Whiskey

Oh my.

If you can't guess, my head hurts.

Hairy and Prissy came over. We started out with fruity blended drinks, that was fun but it wasn't really doing the trick, so we switched to shots. I am not a shot person.

My head hurts.

The hubby made corned beef and cabbage, how delightfully seasonal, eh?

Hairy and Prissy headed home around two and the hubby and I didn't end up going to bed until nine this morning due to a drunken addiction to a game we rented for GameCube, Zelda and the Twilight Princess. After three and a half hours sleep, can you believe I'm up? It's almost two in the afternoon and the hubby still snores away in the next room, I'm jealous.

Alright, despite the pounding in my head, I have a blender to clean. Hope everyone had a great St. Patrick's Day!

Wee Bit of Irish

Happy St. Patty's Day all! I wish you all a fun filled, relatively safe, don't do anything I wouldn't do, night of drinking.

We're getting together with Hairy tonight, and most likely Prissy. We haven't decided what all we plan on doing, besides drinking, and even then I'm not sure what kind of alcohol we will be partaking in. Shall we invest in a bottle something nicer that won't peel like lining from our stomachs or should we just drop a few drops of green food coloring into our typical cheap vodka and mix away?

Last year we didn't have anything planned but after bar hopping, Hairy and his buddy stopped by with a half gallon of Jack Daniel's. It was our first try of the coveted stuff, remember, I'm cheap. I'm not much of a shot person but as most people have already found out, this stuff is pretty good. It was a good night, I stayed one shot behind the guys so when we fired up the XBox and tried playing Halo 2 (online of course) I was kicking ass.

Tall and Sassy won't be attending tonight, they'll be staying home instead. The excuse being Sassy's final the next morning, but honestly that's pretty flimsy considering she has never let school get in the way of her drinking before. I have the feeling that Sassy just doesn't want to so Tall has to go along with her. So much for their break, huh?

Hairy will be happy no matter what we do as long as it involves drinking. Prissy is harder to please, she wants Irish food tonight. Let her buy the ingredients and the hubby will make it, short of that I don't know how to make her happy. We also invited one of the newer neighbors over, someone the hubby and I actually went to high school with. We have barely hung out with the guy but we recently learned he's a stoner so at least we can invite him over without putting all the glass away.

Anyway, it's going to be a lazy day except for half-assed planning for tonight, can't really complain. Hopefully the luck of the Irish will rub off on us and something good will happen. Always looking for the end of that rainbow!

P.S. Are you wearing green today?

Can Preppy Girls Mosh?

If only I could paint an accurate picture of the girlfriends I had between eighth grade and Sophomore year, this story would be so much better.

We'll call them M, K and J for convenience sake. M was basically the leader, yes there was a leader. I met her in seventh grade, I had just transferred to a new school and she walked up to me one day at the bus stop. Given my degree of shyness, the next several years of my life would have been very different without this moment. M was very book smart, but you take her out of her element or put a guy in front of her and she was dumb as a post. J was actually one of the first friends I made on my own when I first moved to the Northwest way back in fourth grade but we lost contact when I switched schools for sixth. We met up again in junior high after I transferred again and she, M and I (plus a few others who never lasted as long) became friends. J was quiet and sarcastic, I loved that girl. We met K in ninth grade, I sat behind her in geography. She was a bit of a bull from the beginning, dad being military had affected her. K was fine as long as you didn't piss her off.

Keeping in mind that M was the leader and we were all at that age where make-up and fashion were starting to actually mean something, conformity became the new rule. This was the reason I ended up leaving this wonderful bitch filled group, but today, that's not the point of my story. (Don't worry, I'm sure I'll get to the point sooner or later.) When this group was essentially formed, everyone was sans make-up, T-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes and ponytails. After M got the inkling that she should change and everyone should follow suit, it was about brand names and preppy stylings. I, for one have never been interested in that kind of thing, there was no way I was going to spend my hard begged for money at the fucking Gap. Yes I went for the whole girly make-up aspect, as long as it was the cheap stuff and not the department store counter bullshit and to this day I prefer to buy my clothes at thrift stores. See where I started to fall behind?

Okay, I think that might be enough background... until I think of more.

One Friday night, Sophomore year, there was a concert at a local park with a few local bands. Luckily there was a school dance the same night so a few fibs to our parents and we were heading to the concert down the street instead. This park wasn't exactly shady but you wouldn't be finding any of the student council there, that's for sure. (This is the same park that a few years later was home to what the school board flipped out and called a "fight club." I had been to the fights, much more well organized then you would have figured when ran by high school students.) I took the safe route and wore a pair of old jeans and a black button up shirt, nothing fancy. My friends, stuck out like sore thumbs. Crisp white tennis shoes, brand name coats, wanna be preppy attire, among a sea of black hoodies and studded belts.

There was a small building there at the park that the bands were playing in, so we made our way inside after paying for the two dollar ticket. It was a small venue, the band itself took up a third of the room, the mini mosh pit took up another third, and everyone else, including us, hung near the back. I doubt I was hid very well my delight of my friend's discomfort, as I felt more comfortable here then I did in their typical atmosphere of the mall. I wasn't about to throw myself into the mosh pit but you never know.

Smoke hung in the air, this is before I took up the leisurely hobby of weed but I'm sure that haze was not fully cigarette induced. Oddly enough, I found myself rather relaxed, even as people bumped into me and all conversation was drowned out by the sheer proximity of the band. Loud and punk, I didn't mind, I think my friends did. I exchanged a few pleasantries with a guy I knew and watched as M turned green with envy from her planted position against the back wall. They all felt too uncomfortable to venture further then six feet from the door. I've got to say, I didn't like the guy, he was an arrogant ass, but I did take satisfaction in the fact that I could actually talk to him when M failed miserably at every attempt. (You know that scene in Dirty Dancing where the guy says something to the chick and she gets all stupid and says "I carried the watermelon!" Yeah, that's basically M.)

Even though I actually had people to talk to, I did what I always did and followed my friends back out the door when they couldn't handle it anymore. There were many people wandering around outside, beer bottles and cigarette butts everywhere and who knows what all everyone was doing before coming wandering back out of the woods.

These two older guys stumbled up to us in a stupor, one even had a beer in each hand. They incoherently babbled as preppy M played the leader of the conversation, saying one dumb thing after another. For one, why would you bother to tell these idiots your name? Secondly, what was so interesting about these two that we actually had to stand here and continue to have them spray it instead of say it?

After finally breaking free of drunk and drunker, we ran into someone we actually knew. (Technically, I knew quite a few people there, but I was a follower, I went where my leash was pulled.) This friend could have been one of the preppy bitches too, the main difference being she actually knew how to loosen up. As M, J and K decided that the school dance would be more entertaining, this girl we had run into was just getting into the party and was going to stay a while longer, they were mad at her for it. Had I stayed, my first stoner experience would have come sooner in my life, but of course, tug, tug of that leash and I was led to the school dance.

These girls were a huge influence on my life. For years their opinions dictated what I did. M even made me sell most of my cd's because they were country. (In all honesty I should say no one made me do anything, again, I was a follower, I felt I had to but it was a choice.) M liked to pick her friends so they were bigger then her, just so she looked smaller, bitch right? We were all big girls, get over it for goodness sake, sheesh. Their influence also showed me what kind of person I didn't want to be. J is a little more like me, at one point, she finally did break free and regained some of her individuality. K to this day I believe would be perfectly content being M's lackey.

I am still in contact with J, we don't see each other nearly enough, especially considering we really only live fifteen minutes apart but I love her dearly. My relationship with M and K was severed in high school, when I couldn't diminish myself anymore by continuing to be a part of their group, they wrote me off completely. I get to peek into their lives occasionally on MySpace but considering all the fights and belittling and everything they (mainly M) put me through, I haven't been able to summon the courage to friend request them. Now M is a cop in some fashion and K is a hair stylist and married, I think I would have guessed it the other way around.

I'll never regret my relationship with M. She was a different person when other people weren't around and without her contrast to my shyness I'm not sure how things would have played out for me. She was the only friend I had growing up who was also a neighbor, we used to ride our bikes together and walk our dogs together. We'd go door to door for the canned food drives at school. We even had a small babysitting service together for a short time. I miss her, but from everything I've heard (put together with the cop thing, ugh) it looks like all those things I didn't like about her have gotten worse and I'd rather not subject myself to that. It's not like she couldn't look me up as easily as I find her, we have some shared friends on MySpace if not the whole high school area. Is it sad that I somewhat take delight in the fact that she has put on weight? I'm pretty sure she has finally stopped denying she is a big girl, about fucking time.

Like I said, if I could give you a true idea of these girls I would because this "fish out of water" story would be so much funnier, but since I can't, you'll just have to deal with it as is. Hope you liked it anyway!

Sing For Me, Nightingale

I haven't had enough experience with loosing people to know how to handle it well.

When I was little, three or four, my great grandmother and great aunt passed away. I remember standing at the foot of my ailing grandmother's bed. I can remember a very clear image of my great aunt, all the way down to her large pearl clip on earrings and avocado hued overcoat. I remember at one of their funerals, someone played guitar. I don't remember the loss.

In my lifetime, there are losses that have affected me. I cried when my landlord's wife passed away. (If you have read my past posts, I knew him long before he was my landlord, he was my piano teacher's father first.) I may not have known her well, but I knew I would always miss her kindness. My best friend's neighbors were mowed down by a drunk driver, and that wasn't the only injustice of the situation. Two moms, three kids. It took them over five hours to give the drunk driver a breathalyzer. Only one cop was responsible for securing the scene after the crash. The father of two of the kids, little boys, arrived. His son was still alive and crying for his mom and dad. The cop wouldn't let the father go to him, so instead the little boy died alone in a ditch. Only one of the mom's survived, but after losing her two sons, her best friend and her best friend's daughter, she wished she hadn't. I mourned them all, but again it wasn't my loss.

The first celebrity death to get to me was Lucy. I remember it as if it were yesterday, a picture of her coming up on the television screen, that fiery hair against a pink background with two dates: 1911-1989. The celebrity death to hit me the hardest was John Ritter. I essentially grew up with this man and all of a sudden he was gone. I heard about it while in the car driving down the road, as a hint of how shocked I was to hear those words over the radio, I ran a red light. He died on the anniversary of our nation's biggest attack, he died on his daughter's birthday. I miss him.

Like everyone who has had pets, part of having them is eventually they pass away, so of course I know this sadness. The death that has actually hit me hardest was my first cat. I've mentioned him here, I want to get a tattoo of him. A couple days after we moved into our building, we heard a thud from the next room. I got up to see what it was, and it was my cat. He had fallen over and it basically seemed like his back half wasn't working. We rushed him to the vet and they felt a large mass next to his kidney. He was anemic and would have needed a couple transfusions before even being stable enough for surgery, if he made it that far. I couldn't put him through that, I couldn't put me through that. (Even now I get all teary thinking about it.) I had to make the decision to put him to sleep. I couldn't be there when they did it, I know some people get peace out of that, but I didn't want to remember him that way. He was purring in my arms when they took him. (Okay, I need a minute now.)

I am not saying all this to be morbid, I guess I'm saying it to be prepared. Not only is my grandma getting older and my landlord fighting inoperable cancer, my old boss is sick, again.

The hubby and I used to work at a little restaurant, a drive-in that wasn't a drive-in anymore. He started working there when he was fifteen and three years later got me the job when I needed it. Our boss, wasn't exactly the best boss, but she is a damn good friend. She mothered her employees, not really a surprise when you find out she didn't have any kids. Instead she has cats, fifteen was the last count I think, and that's not including all the strays that she drives around town taking care of. A couple years back, when I was still working for her, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This lovely god faring woman took it in stride, ready to shave her head because of chemotherapy. She didn't end up having to go through chemo, but she cut off all her thick graying locks simply because she had gotten so used to the idea. As her cancer was going into remission, she was hit with another blow.

The treatment from the breast cancer, had given her cervical cancer. Admirably she fought it, fully believing that god had a plan for her and if it was time, then it was time. Singing and church kept her positive. I knew she had a good voice, I knew she had performed, even outside the church, so it was amazing when one day in the middle of the dining room she broke out singing Mele Kalikimaka, a Hawaiian Christmas song. (She was born in Hawaii, to her, it will always be home.)

After fighting and beating cancer twice, she was still the same beautiful woman we always knew and loved. A couple weeks back, she drove by (actually tending to the stray cats next door) and we were able to play catch-up. With a dignity that shouldn't have surprised me, she informed the hubby and I that she was diagnosed with lung cancer. This woman who has never smoked a day in her life is now battling again. I don't think she can sing anymore, her cough makes me sad. She's handling it with the same class and grace that she's handled everything else. Again, or still, she fully believes the good lord has it all worked out for her. I envy that. She is one of the strongest women I know.

I don't want to lose her, I don't want to lose anyone. I get that death is a part of life. Mortality isn't really something I find myself thinking about, and really, that's probably a good thing. I don't really think that's what I am talking about here though, I'm talking about loss. The selfish part of loss. What do I handle it? I get that you move on, one day at a time, it gets easier. But where you file it away in your head so it makes sense? Is there ever a time where it doesn't feel wrong?

Bleak probably, I know, but that's what was on my mind this morning. Now, off to spend some life affirming time with the hubby before he heads off to work. Thanks for listening!

(P.S. I had to write this post twice thanks to Blogger deleting the first one. First time it does it to me and it had to be this post, damn Blogger!)

Hairy and Prissy

So! I finally thought of some names for the neighbors down the hall. So we have Tall and Sassy, right? Well the neighbors (the one's with the Chihuahua) are now Hairy and Prissy, ha! It's not as easy as you'd think to come up with anonymous nicknames for people who already have nicknames. Hairy is twenty two (the only one in the building that we hang out with who is actually old enough to drink) and he's a student and car guy with issues confrontation. Prissy is twenty, a student and a secretary with issues with her mother.

Hairy has been a pretty constant friend but Prissy, well, she's had her moments. (These two are the same ones in the "boobs" reference in my last post.) Tall and Hairy are friends. Prissy hated Sassy from day one because she wasn't Tall's ex, but lately has loosened up some, I think, maybe. At least enough to be in the same room without glares, that's progress.

We are trying to get Tall, Sassy, Hairy and Prissy to come do something for St. Patrick's Day. Everyone is agreed that alcohol has to be involved, perhaps even green alcohol, it's just no one is too sure where they want to do it. Not to sound too pessimistic but the hubby and I will probably end up spending the evening alone. The curse of being lazy and not wanting to go out and spend money, something everyone else is obviously not plagued with. Oh well, the hubby doesn't usually get any holidays off, so even if it's just St. Patty's Day, we're going to enjoy it.

Fight For Me

Couples who break up and get back together all the time irritate me. Why is it that these people, when in a fight, skip over the actual fighting and go straight to "we're over, I never want to see you again," and various other things that they regret, just to ignore it all by the next day like it never happened?

As you can guess, Tall and Sassy are back together (if they were ever actually apart.) Supposedly they are taking a break, they tried this before. Their definition of "taking a break" is basically not calling each other together, but being together still in every way, until one gets pissed and wants to put a label on it again. It makes me want to pull my hair out.

The hubby and I have had our fights. Earlier in our relationship, after we first moved in together, we had some problems. Most of those problems led back to a string of bad room mates but not all of them. There were issues with another girl, I don't know the whole story really. It's a conversation we plan on having some day, just because I'd rather know then wonder, but it's not worth dredging up again yet until it can't do the same damage it did initially. Even though this is my little tell all area, I feel weird talking about it. Every time it comes up, it turns into the elephant in the room and it's obvious we aren't ready to talk about it, but I've told him I'll want to eventually, he knows.

When the hubby and I fight it's typically about hurt feelings, nothing detrimental. My mind never drifts to the dangerous side of things and wonders, "is this it, are we done?" A fight could not take us down. I cry, he cries, we make a little headway, and we move on. Many of those average fights wouldn't even happen if we loosened up a little. I get upset, sometimes I just need to be upset before getting over it. The hubby doesn't always get that, even after eight years, so he gets upset and we have our tiff. I'm not mad at him, I'm just mad but he feels like I'm taking it out on him. It's the mystery of women I suppose, men just never understand it, I can't blame them. At least I know that when we fight, the only thing at risk is a few feelings, not our marriage.

Only once has the hubby ever walked out the door after a fight. I remember my heart pumping with all the "what if's" that could mean. A little while later he returned, with flowers. He couldn't believe he had walked out and promised never to do it again, he hasn't.

Tall and Sassy take fighting to the next level, I've witnessed it because they have no problem arguing with each other while sitting on my couch. She'll say something to him and he won't hear it, either because he is zoned out on the television or because he is involved in another conversation. Suddenly she is yelling at him for not caring about her, my god girl, shut the hell up. Sometimes I have to say something three times before my hubby hears me, not because he doesn't care but because he was distracted, novel concept isn't it? We watched a similar situation with a couple of the neighbors recently. The chick had said something to her boyfriend, he didn't hear her, the television was much more enthralling. She tried again, nothing. Finally she said the word "boobs" and he looked up, she laughed. Wow, enlightening to see someone not flip out over it.

When Tall and Sassy fight, they go for blood without fear of consequence. He once took away her flat iron and told her he was taking away the only thing that made her pretty. She calls him a drunk and a stoner going nowhere in life when in reality they are in the same place. I used to sympathize with her, I wanted to help. Tall has issues with his mother that govern the way he deals with things, honestly like a teenage girl, Sassy on the other hand is just mentally young so she changes daily how she deals with things and expects everyone to keep up or be damned. You'd almost think they would be perfect for each other.

I believe in any relationship you have to fight. If you don't argue, how will you get things out, work on it, and compromise? Communication is the most important thing, and hell, arguing is communication. Realize, hey, I'm pissed off about this, I have to say something about it, and if I feel that strongly about it, we have to work it out before it gets worse. But at the same time, you have to realize when it's not worth it. You got to be sure you know what you are pissed at before going into full attack mode, actually, full attack mode is best avoided in most cases but you get my point. Through arguing you find your compatibilities and incompatibilities. You can find what issues you are willing to give on, and which ones are too important to sacrifice.

Tall and Sassy need to realize that you don't have to cut to the quick every time, or they just may end up finding out they are not right for each other. When your dating it's easier to throw around the word "breakup" but when you are married, it's the word "divorce" and it's a much bigger deal. When you are talking together forever, you have to change your tactics or risk screwing it up big time. I don't know if that's in the future for them.

I'll wrap this up by saying I love my hubby. He's worth sacrifice, he is worth compromise. He truly is my other half, even when we are in tears, in the dead center of a fight. I plan on growing old with this man, and even if for some unforeseen reason that doesn't happen, I will never regret our life together, he will always be a part of my heart no matter what. With all the hurt that some couples throw at each other, will they be able to say the same thing?

Bullshit and the Bible

Since I really don't have a point to opening up this lovely Blogger "create a post" page, we'll just go topic hopping for a while, sound good? Good.

Another sigh of relief, four days down, one to go. The best part is, after Friday, I won't have to deal with jury duty for at least two more years, yay! Hopefully by then I'll have a kid to use as an excuse to get out of it. You don't understand how much I hated sending that postcard back in with it checked "Yes, I'm available."

Nine o'clock in the morning is too early to be woken up by a jackhammer, right? I groggily turned to the hubby this morning and murmured, "Is that what I think it is?" As he rolled over on his other side he responded, "Yep." I love my hubby, but how do you go back to sleep after that?

I really don't care for election years. "Your vote matters!" To who? Politically haven't we proven that it doesn't matter? The electoral college decides, our vote is to influence them but not make up their minds. Blah, blah, blah. It's a great example of politics. I live in that lovely and lonely little gray area in the center of most issues. I'll vote when I can see that it matters, not when I am just told it does. Don't get me wrong though, I was done with Bush years ago. I can't see the way he is going to be regarded in history.

Every time we get a preview of Showtime, the hubby and I remember the show Penn & Teller Bullshit. It's an awesome show that I end up finding myself yelling at the screen, "hell yeah!" Straight forward, informative, no holding back, "as a matter of fact" truth. Look it up on YouTube, they are all great. Each episode is in three parts, here is a place to start, an episode on obesity: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

The hubby and I want to own a restaurant some day. A quaint little diner or something where we can serve good home made food with fresh local ingredients and put our kids to work in the family business, (thanks in part because of that great clause in child labor laws, ha!) The first order of business, get one of those signs that says "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."
MySpace is a mixed blessing. You get to view people's lives very publicly, but then you realize how far apart you have drifted from them in the first place.

Looks like Tall and Sassy broke up last night, it's not the first time though so who knows if it will actually stick. Every other time they have descended into stupid fighting, I have reached out and tried to help both sides. I'll calm Sassy down, and let Tall know I calmed her down. This time, I don't have that impulse. It seems like Sassy has been trying to control Tall. They are both still trying to figure out who they are, you can't do that being controlled, isn't that why teenagers move out of their parent's house? He's twenty, he just wants to be twenty. She's eighteen, trying to be thirty with the mentality of a fifteen year old high school student. Age is only a number, it's the mentality that makes a difference. I wonder if this will mean dueling houseguests having to fight over the couch.

It's raining and gray out today, I love it.

We took another step forward in the quest for a trip to California. The hubby officially got his vacation request in and we informed my mom of this fact. It's up to her to buy the tickets now. So close yet so far. So far, we have started planning for an Angels game. I have a friend who is a ticket broker and she is trying to find us something good. Disneyland is a given, but where else to go?

Our houseguest isn't here yet. Who would have thought it would be so hard to sell a twenty inch television, DVD player and surround sound for a hundred and thirty bucks?

My mom's best friend called last night. I love this woman. To be honest, she is the closest thing I have to this blog. Someone that so far I have been able to tell anything too, especially things that I don't tell my mom. I think she loves having that special place in my life as much as I love having that special place in hers.

Is there a purpose to St. Patrick's Day other then pinching people who don't wear green? And isn't pinching kind of old school? There has got to be a modernization of that tradition, hasn't there? Oh yeah! I remember the purpose, booze!

Ran out of vodka last night, we were reduced to finishing off some cheap whiskey stashed in the back of the freezer. Cheap whiskey is awful but at least we finally got rid of that bottle.

There's that jackhammer again, what could they possibly be doing?

Who is "they"?

Top Chef premiered last night on Bravo. I love the scar on Padma's arm, it's such a human characteristic for a television host to have. Why are there two people with faux hawks again this season? Are these people just trying to be taller?

Mr. Anitcomputer used the computer last night! (I'm speaking of the hubby.) He chatted for a couple hours with our houseguest-to-be and played with AIM Expressions for a while. I'm so proud. He actually used the phrase "rotflmao," I'm a little worried that it means he is going too far in the other direction.

My dream car would be a seventies Scout, Jeep or Bronco, nifty huh? Why is it that short people like big cars and tall people like little cars? Whenever I see a middle aged man getting out of a tiny little sports car, I call it a midlife crisis.

Is it possible for things to be too quiet? I need noise, the hubby isn't even snoring.

I envy some church goers. To believe in something that way, anything that way is great. The sense of community is great. The security that some people gain through it is amazing. I find myself needing something more tangible. It's not to say I don't believe in god, I definitely believe in something grander then us all to explain all of the things that we can't explain, it's just hard for me to have blind faith. Some people who take the Bible too seriously get to me. Not to downplay it's importance to people, but I regard it like fairy tales. Every culture on earth has stories that are passed down to teach and pass down ideals and morals. Little Red Ridding Hood taught us not to talk to strangers. The Three Little Pigs taught us to be prepared for the worst. A lot of the stories in the Bible are about being good to people, why can't we take that from it instead of labeling it as law and following it word for word?

I spoke too soon, the hubby is snoring now.

Everyone keeps asking us when we are going to move. Grr, it's a frustrating question. We are trying, I swear we are trying. It takes more patience then I got, I'll tell you that. Everywhere is just so expensive! From monthly rent to the balloon of move in costs, they are just trying to suck us dry and honestly we are getting further from our goal. We keep having to dip into the bank to cover things like the electric and gas bills. All that money in the bank was supposed to go towards moving. It's an ongoing circle and I'm starting to get dizzy.

Some housewife I am, I forgot to do the dishes yesterday (dishwasher, oh dishwasher, we will be together someday soon!)

You're only defined as a stoner, if you define yourself as a stoner. This is a message to Tall even though he will never read this.

I think this post has gone very well, especially considering I started it last night, had to put it on hold because the hubby got home from work, then I was right back to it this morning. Is it possible to get too attached to a blog? Probably, but I don't care at the moment, and that all that matters, right?

Happiness and Hypocrites

Three down, two to go. I'm going to jinx it if I say it's too good to be true. This week hasn't been too shabby for the most part, so far anyway.

German food with the hubby's mom and Italian food with my mom, both in one day. It was a lot of food and it was all good. Am I the only one that thinks an "Italian Margarita" is a weird drink? We showed our mom's our tattoos. The hubby's mom had an eye roll for us, but she didn't hate them. The waitress noticed the hubby's garlic at the Italian restaurant, before we had a chance to mention it to my mom. Her first reaction was "don't let grandma see it," littered with a laugh and then she looked at me and said, "so what did you get?" All in all, it could have been worse. It was definitely a driving adventure on both parts. The hubby's step dad didn't know exactly where we were going, and didn't bother to ask. This man is so distractible it's almost not even funny, the type to slow down in the middle of a busy street because he saw something nifty four blocks back. We zigzagged for quite some time, to get to a place that was easily directly off the freeway. With my mom it was speeding and no seatbelts, she and her boyfriend drive with purpose, not to wander. Like I said, adventure.

So by the time my stomach was protesting "no more food!" we were finally home and settling into our typical evening routine, continuing with the buzz that an eight dollar margarita and four dollar beers can cause. Tall texted. He asked what we were up to, then asked if he and Sassy could come over. This felt strangely familiar. Sure, why not, yesterday went well right?

Tall and Sassy hung out for a couple hours, long enough that Sassy had fallen asleep in a little ball on the couch next to me. It was normal, you don't understand how many pictures we have of people asleep at our place, I'm thinking a collage some day might be nice. Tall had brought some weed, and it was obvious by the fact that he kept picking up the steamroller off our coffee table that he wanted to load a bowl. It took him three tries. I actually loaded a bowl in the meantime, because he didn't seem to be getting around to it. He didn't even try to pass it to Sassy. I don't mind when people don't smoke, that's not the issue, it's when they are jerks about it that I get ticked. By the time they left, it felt basically like old times. Again, I don't want to rely on it.

After they left, the hubby remembered we were in the middle of laundry and ran out to switch it. A couple of the neighbors were out on the deck. We are officially out of the loop. Gossip used to run rampant around this building, but as relationships have changed or have been strained, we don't end up finding out about things until way after the fact, if at all. The hubby heard little tid-bits which put me on the edge of my chair like a juicy soap opera storyline. It was kind of our antisocial behavior that prevented us from learning any more. We could have gone out there and joined the group but I have to say it most likely wouldn't have been very fun. One of them was Tall's ex. Not in itself a bad thing, it's the person, not her connections to other people that is the problem.

Blatant hypocrisy is bound to piss off anyone at some point, right? Tall's ex had a kid a while back, and since she has basically changed her life completely, kinda, basically. She currently says on her MySpace "about me" section that she's completely into organic food and she makes her own baby food and all that, because she cares about what goes into her family. She doesn't smoke, and anybody who smokes anything, she just feels sorry for. This from the bitch who only a few months before she got knocked up was living off of canned tuna and snorting coke of her kitchen counter before heading off to do shrooms. This from the bitch who thought she was sterile because she hadn't gotten pregnant yet! (Sorry, I have been wanting to say that to somebody, anybody, for months!) Feels sorry for people who smoke anything? Last night she was smoking a fucking clove! Cares so much about what goes into her family? Is that why her and her boyfriend were drunk last night? Because beer is so good for you? Oh my god it drives me nuts! How the hell does she claim to be so much better then everyone else? If she isn't a hypocrite I don't know what is.

Put that together with the neighbor who owns the Chihuahua (it's a couple, but I'm referring to the chick) and some of her... oh I don't know, is antics the right word? She bitched for months to get that damn puppy, and now she has been caught saying that she wants to get rid of it and only got it to prove a point to her boyfriend. (See what I mean? Gossip.) I feel too old for this shit, funny thing is I don't think I am old enough to say that.

So yeah, we decided to not join them. We'll try and be social another time, when there isn't such a decent day to ruin. It's funny, I have no problems with the boys in the building, but the girls? I am irritated in a new way every day by them. I can tolerate it, until something happens that I take personally.

Tall's ex has been actually chatting with Tall and Sassy, amazing and weird at the same time. Sassy and I used to message and comment back and forth all the time, Sassy hasn't said anything to me online in months, yet she has been talking to Tall's ex? Is it wrong that I feel jealous? The last time Tall's ex talked to me was on MySpace, a few months ago she sent me a message to complain about Tall parking in the parking lot. (I think I have mentioned this but we don't park in the parking lot, our guests are allowed to use our spot, the landlord even backs us up on it.) I didn't realize it until a couple messages in, but she was trying to pick a fight with me and she ended up getting snotty. I tried to stay neutral, I had been in a fight with her before, I didn't want to go there again.

I know in the grander picture, besides being friends or at one time friends with these people, I have nothing to do with what goes on between Tall, Sassy and Tall's ex or our other neighbor couple that I just haven't come up with decent enough names for yet. I just kind of feel out of the loop, you know what I mean? At one time or another I have known nearly everything that was going on in their lives, and now I am down to hearing bits and pieces and trying to put it together basically into nothing because I'm not hearing enough. I guess I am a gossip at heart, if it helps I don't typically spread it to anyone but the hubby or perhaps a few inquiring blogging minds.

This post started out one place and ended another, what else is new, eh? I guess even good days have some complaints, but if you can still call it a good day you did something right, right? I think I am due for another bout of randomness here soon, stay tuned oh faithful blog!

Progress... I Think

So yesterday was interesting, and I bet you anything today will be too.

First off, no jury duty today! Two down, three to go.

After a midday nap with the hubby, we went and did some grocery shopping, nothing out of the ordinary, just the normal stuff. We settled in with plans of french toast, video games and vodka and then received a call. It was Tall's best friend. Him and his girlfriend, as well as Tall and Sassy, wanted us to hang out and party with them.

Tall and Sassy were supposed to come over, so we took this call as them having made other plans and blowing us off again, wouldn't you? We told them we already started drinking and we weren't about to drive anywhere. Tall's buddy said they would come pick us up. I don't know about you, but when you are hanging out somewhere you would really rather not, isn't it nice to not have to rely on someone to give you a ride home to get your ass out of there? Plus, I'm not sure how comfortable I am driving around with a guy who has a big target on his forehead, not only does a local cop seem to have it out for Tall's buddy, but the guy likes to drive around with a bong in his car. (This is what I meant about being smart enough to not get caught.)

So off they went, with an inkling of intension to watch a movie or something, who knows. I made the hubby and I another drink. The hubby and I talked it over, the whole situation. I've been more emotional then normal lately so of course my side of the conversation was littered with tears. What it all breaks down to, is that it sucks. My hubby says it's not worth trying to confront Tall, about anything. It's a vicious circle apparently. He said if I could try to let it go, maybe they could. I told him I would try if they'd give me a chance. I didn't ask if Tall's buddy invited just the hubby or both of us, but I did ask the hubby if that was a wrong question to ask. He said yes, that question is just me trying to make it worse, like I am waiting for them to tell me that they don't like me and it's all my fault. I said that it already feels like they have said it, I'm just trying to prove whether or not it's true. I guess it is a little like poking a bear with a stick.

My hubby texted Tall, I think mainly to appease me, and asked him what happened to them coming over. To our complete surprise, Tall's answer was that they still were, they were just eating at the moment. The hubby and I exchanged looks. We had totally assumed that we had been ditched again. I made another drink for us, I was still sniffling, I needed liquid confidence.

The knock came sooner then I expected, and there were more people on the other side of the door then expected. Tall and Sassy and brought the buddy and his girlfriend. No problem, they are cool, typically only call us when they can't find weed anywhere else, but whatever. Our living room was at full capacity, go figure there'd be another knock. One of the neighbors showed up, puppy in tow. God that thing has a lot of energy, you should have seen the cats run from it.

I tried to not be preoccupied with all the bullshit. I tried to be nice and social without anything underneath. They liked our tattoos, they loved my cookies. Tall's buddy brought his new bong (not very impressive compared to our arsenal, ha!) and loaded a couple bowls. If Tall and Sassy smoked at all, it was only on the first pass around. Grr. Again with the dealers that don't smoke. I had to say something, but I really tried to keep it to light teasing instead of annoying nagging. I asked Tall why he wasn't smoking, he said he didn't want to. I asked him if he knew it was weird for a dealer to not smoke, like the last time he brought us some, he wouldn't smoke any. Ooo, hey, my dealer won't smoke it, what's wrong with it? His buddy backed me up, everyone laughed. Tall missed the point, he asked if there was anything wrong with it. Sooner or later I am going to smack that boy upside the head. Honestly I think Tall would like to avoid the topic because Sassy just doesn't want him to smoke unless she wants to, (I wouldn't be surprised if this applied to every aspect of his life, heh.)

Everyone was here for a couple hours. We watched Family Guy and C.S.I. Miami and a few other things in the course of the hubby's channel surfing. Everyone talked constantly, multiple conversations at once. I think everything went well. The hubby and I kept drinking, we were the only ones besides the neighbor who kept snagging beers from our fridge. I think it helped. I wasn't spinning, but since I hadn't had anything to eat since my morning frosted flakes I was delightfully tipsy, aiding in the chattiness that the situation called for.

After everyone left, I asked the hubby if I did good. He said I did.

We never got around to that french toast. A microwave french bread pizza later and we were in bed.

Today, wow soon actually, the hubby and I are going out to eat with his mom and step-dad. We are going to a German restaurant that the hubby kind of wants to check out in the prospects of maybe applying there when it comes time to finally reevaluate his current employment. I'm a little worried about what I could actually find on the menu for me, that should be an adventure.

Later this evening, my mom and her boyfriend want to take us out to eat too. We haven't picked a place yet, but I think we will end up going to a new pasta place which should be nice. I can't help but wonder why my mom wants to take us out though, there is typically a reason or ulterior motive behind it. I haven't figured this one out yet, or even whether or not there is anything to figure out. I can admit to being paranoid when my mom is concerned. Either way I am sure I will have some stuff to post here about it later.

So far this week hasn't been horrible, it would be nice if it stayed that way, or even got a little better. Like hope on a new apartment? That would be nice. Win the lottery? Oh wait, you have to buy a ticket to win. Oh well, shattered my dreams on that one, didn't I. And just as I write it, the hubby says it, we should probably be taking showers soon. I guess the day is finally beginning then, eh?

How To Pass A Drug Test

First off, marijuana can stay in your system for anywhere between 2-3 days to several months, average being around two weeks. Someone like me, all big and beautiful put together with the sheer quantity of weed that I smoke, would probably need several weeks to try and clear my system if not more. THC is stored in fat cells, so the heavier you are, put together with the heavier smoker you are, things could get difficult. But then again, I'm not too sure I'd work some place that would drug test me for weed. Most everything else I understand, but weed? You know how many employers would be screwed if they tested all their employees?

There are different tests that look for different things. There are some tests that don't even bother looking for weed, thank goodness. You can typically go down to your local Rite-Aid and pick some of these tests up. A lot of times, employers use these same tests. It might be wise to try it out, especially given that you shouldn't be over confident about these things when it could result in job issues.

Easy ways to clean your system are obvious. Water and lots of it. It will dilute the urine and greater your chances of a false positive. Cranberry juice is also awesome for cleaning the system out, and any drink containing vitamin B, which can be found at a store like GNC. A deluded urine sample can also be a little suspicious, they may ask you to produce another sample. If you get a detox drink from a health food store like GNC, be sure you take a B complex vitamin, it will return your urine to yellow. Do not however take the vitamin the day of the test, it will turn your urine neon yellow which will be a red flag to the tester. High calorie meals and exercise will also be beneficial, they raise the body's metabolic rate, another way to detoxify the body.

There is also a saliva test. Don't smoke pot for 24-48 hours before the test, brush your teeth, floss, gargle, even use Altoids, it will all kill germs.

Then there are the more aggressive ways to deal with the situation. Fake urine, yes it's out there. At your local paraphernalia shop, they should have an array of battle gear for you. Detox pills to take, additives to put into urine, all sorts of things. The person working the counter should be able to recommend something at least based on popularity. Also, there are many places online to find these types of things. Do keep in mind that the sale of synthetic urine for the purpose of passing drug tests has been banned in at least ten states, that may not be the best way to go.

Note, tampering with a drug test could get you into trouble. Depending on the company's policy, it could bar you from employment and possibly face legal action. If asked to do a drug test, always remain calm, sometimes they just bring it up to see your reaction. Prolong the test for as long as possible, the more time you have, the better.

Lastly, if you fail the test, don't panic. Tell them that it simply isn't possible, and don't volunteer anymore information. As far as you knew, there as absolutely no reason you should have failed that test. Be confused, not pissed. Ask if there is anything you can do in this situation, maybe retest at a later date, because that is your best chance if you still wish to gain employment there.

I'll tell you now that I have never had to take a drug test, however it's amazing how many people I know have had to over the years. My mom's boyfriend once used the additives that you put into the urine, and while I didn't hear specifically how it played out (I don't think I was supposed to find the empty bottle so I never bothered to ask) he obviously got the job, so I know at least some of this stuff works. I am sure there are other nifty little tricks, Google it, that's where I got some of my knowledge and I know there is more information out there. Let me know if you find anything interesting!

Thanks to my Doppelganger for inspiring this post, much love hun!

Yay!

Celebrate with me, no jury duty today!
One day down, four to go.
Think my luck will hold out?

(I'm sure I'll do a real post later, this news was just too good to keep quiet.)

So Much For Saturday

Yesterday was less the ideal.

First off, we had decided to try going to Tall and Sassy again, against better judgement but it was cheaper. They came and got the money (from the hubby at work, I still haven't seen them in over two weeks now) and on their way they went.

Five hours later, Tall texts the hubby. "It looks like it's not going to happen today, or in the next couple days." By the way, you are not a dealer if you take someone's money and go get them weed with it. That's hooking someone up. The hubby and I have done it plenty of times but we knew that didn't mean we were dealers. I think to call yourself a dealer, you should have the weed to sell in the first place, otherwise you are just a middle man. The hubby told him to bring back the money, so we could take care of it.

Tall brought the money to the hubby, made him actually stop working to come out into the parking lot to receive it. Later, while the hubby was still working Tall texted again. "Do you mind if "Sassy" and I come over and chill?" Even the hubby was ticked off, I guess that means it's not just me overreacting this time.

After the hubby got home from work and told me all of this (I hate wondering if it's everything, the hubby likes to try and protect me from getting upset) he texted Tall back, telling him we had to get up real early to go get the weed that he couldn't, so no, it wouldn't be a good night to come over. I don't remember the last time we turned someone away, even for a logical reason like needing sleep.

Second on my shit list, the hubby found out how much his raise is yesterday. Fifty cents. Everyone was expecting a dollar. They have now screwed him on his last three raises. A year ago was the first one, again he was supposed to get a dollar, but the boss tried to compromise and told him to ask again in six months. So he waited, and he asked, you know he did. Bad timing I guess.

The boss was on her way out, had been working for months on that coveted higher position and finally got it, little things like the hubby's raise didn't matter anymore. He was told to wait for the new boss to come in and to ask her. So again he waited, new boss came, and he asked. Apparently no one had bothered to pass along the notion that the hubby was due another raise, so corporate put another three month hold on it. Now finally, a year later since the initial screwing, and it happens again.

The hubby wants a new job anyway, he has for quite some time. He wants to work in a higher quality kitchen with higher quality food. I don't blame him, there isn't much challenge in working a microwave to make pasta or a baked potato. The thought of him switching jobs scares me. There has been a wonderful stability in him working where he is for as long as he has.

Even if he does start looking for a new job, it will still be a few months before it happens. His work gave him three weeks of vacation time for it being there five years, it's been the main motivation to stay. That and I'd like to move first. It will look much more appealing on a rental application that he has been in his current job for over five years, rather then just having started a new job.

I was hoping on that raise. I was hoping it would help us when we have to start paying more rent after we move to a bigger apartment. I was hoping it would help us stop falling further and further behind. I was hoping we could start putting money in the bank. The hubby says we can still do all that, everything always works out. It's a hard thing to believe when I have tears rolling down my face.

I am not sure if either of these things merited tears, or whether or not I was just overwhelmed by it all. I get upset easily, it's hard to tell. The funny thing, last night, the first thing I wanted to do was come here. To blog it all out, to feel better. I'm still not sure how well this is all working for me as far as my mental state, but it was my first impulse. Is that strange?

So on to today.

Gotta find weed, always important, yes? Tall and Sassy suck.

I have to do some extra cleaning, I'm pretty sure our houseguest will be arriving sooner rather then later, it all depends on if he wants to save the twenty bucks and wait a week or not. I'm a housewife, I can't complain too much about cleaning.

Tonight I have to call to see if I have to go in for jury duty tomorrow, I'm still pissed about that whole thing. Even though the hubby and I got married at the courthouse, I don't think I like that place.

I wonder if Tall and Sassy will call. I wonder why it matters whether or not they do. I wonder if anyone else will stop by. Again, I wonder why it matters. I put too much importance on the people around me, don't I? Ugh, Monday and Tuesday are my weekend, this whole Saturday and Sunday thing is overrated.

Colorful Scabs

Have you ever had flesh drop off in colorful little flakes of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and black?

Don't take it dirty. I'm talking about my tattoo.

When you get a tattoo, it's damage, and what happens when you damage your skin? Scabs. What happens to scabs? They flake off (that is if you can resist the child like impulse to rip them off, grr.) That's where I am. My shoulder itches so bad, heh. I've got flower petals peeling up as we speak, sounds awesome doesn't it? Sorry, I'm getting a kick out of the fact that I forgot that tattoos hurt when they heal and I forgot until after that yes, my shoulder is indeed a joint. I can't wait until the hubby gets his elbow or something done, just so he can feel my pain of stretching those scabs ever time he moves. Too bad he can't feel the awkwardness of only being able to wear one bra strap when you're a big D cup, ha!

I know a lot of people don't like tattoos, especially girls, that's fine. For me, it's beautiful, it's decoration, it's mine. I like the idea of dispelling the notion that tattoos can't be lady like. That's exactly what my current tattoo symbolizes for me. A physical manifestation of my feminine side. If you stripped me down to nothing, it would still be a part of me. It's kind of a powerful feeling when you think of it that way. It's a form of self expression and though I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, any sort of self expression is important.

One of the other tattoos I want, may seem silly to some but certainly not to me. I plan on getting a black cat, though not just any black cat. My first cat, the pet that was first mine. I had him ten years and two days, he was ten years eleven days when he died. Oddly specific, I know, but when you get a kitten at nine days old, you remember it. This cat meant the world to me, so much so the hubby and I actually got married on his birthday. Is that strange? I just want a silhouette, with a red collar. I've looked and looked for the right shaped silhouette, I haven't found it yet. My cat was short, stout and fat. At his heaviest he topped out at seventeen pounds and he had short, squat little legs. I think it's going to be hard to recreate that, especially with very few pictures of him. I'm willing to wait. It's a memorial, it's worth waiting for to get it right.

Because I've fallen in love with the shading of my hubby's tattoo, I'm now trying to think of something else to get that I could incorporate that quality of shading into. Since tattoos are permanent, this won't be a light task. I don't want it to just be cool, I want it to mean something to me, no regrets. Plus, where to get it? I still don't know where I want my fat little kitty, let alone a piece so fresh in my thoughts.

I didn't mean to write a big post about all this, I've already written about my new body decoration. I just can't help it if it made me want more even as I sit here and poorly resist the urge to scratch. (I pulled off a leaf, is that bad?)

This and That

I've been chugging along on this little blog train for about a month now. I think I have kept up with it pretty good. I've gotten a lot off my chest and that was point of this whole thing right? I've realized, reading back, that all of my posts have a very specific point. No problem in that I guess, I suppose it's just time to insert a little randomness for effect.

Soap operas are a horrible addiction, don't start it if you can prevent it. Mothers, don't let your kids watch, it could set up a life long addiction dammit, that I still haven't pulled myself from, mom! As long as you watch, you will never avoid the "cheese" factor, keep that in mind. There will always be a "who's your daddy" situation and when all else fails, bring out the evil twin. I wouldn't mind an evil twin by the way, someone to blame everything on.

How can I like cooking shows, when I am so unenthusiastic about food? I love Gordon Ramsey, Anthony Bourdain and Alton Brown, but I find it very doubtful that even if one or all of them came to my house and cooked for me personally, that I wouldn't be able to make it much further then the "no thank you bite." The "no thank you bite" is what my family tortured me with when I was younger. "Just one 'no thank you bite' and then you can leave the table." Yeah fucking right.

We own over a hundred XBox games, why is it that it feels like we never have anything to play?

For the record, I hate summer. (Insert crowd boos here.) I know, I know, not the popular opinion. After leaving the life of school behind and forgetting the meaning of "summer vacation," it just doesn't seem to have as much point to me as it used to. Bring on the rain, no better yet, bring on the snow.

People on television don't hit each other nearly enough. Do you know how many times I would love to just reach through the screen and smack someone to shut up?

I miss having a dog. From birth to age eighteen, I had at least one dog at all times, then I left the warmth and comfort of my mother's abode and haven't had one since. My hubby needs a dog. Cats do not satisfy the interactive need, their arrogance gets in the way. A neighbor just got a Chihuahua. Tiny little things, believe it or not I love them. One of those dogs that I have had at all times, oddly enough have been Chihuahuas, (and black labs and rottweilers, dig that contrast, huh?) The cat's don't know what to think of the neighbor's rat, and I'm not too concerned with making them figure it out until we get a dog of our own, they get moody when they think they are no longer the babies. So would I.

The hubby says he doesn't like coffee, but then why does he always drink it when I make it or buy some?

Jury duty sucks. I just got called for my second time. You know how on television when someone in a sitcom gets jury duty they say, "that's what I get for registering to vote." It's not true. To this day I still have never registered to vote. (Again, I expect boos here, oh hush.) Last time I got called for jury duty, I think I lucked out. They were only picking for the grand jury, they picked their twelve people and I was sent home. Two days, $12.50 pay later, and I did my civic duty, right? Ugh. I can only hope I am as lucky this time. My grandma loves jury duty, I can't believe we're related. I'll watch Law and Order on television, but why do I have to live it?

String cheese is good. Yum.

Is there a difference between drinking too much and drinking too often? I don't get trashed very much and in all my years of drinking I have never gotten so shit faced drunk that I blacked out and had no control over my actions. I don't know if that's control or tolerance. I end up just tossing my cookies before that point. So I don't get drunk all the time, but I do enjoy a cocktail or two in the evening. A homemade Sunny Screw, a Screwdriver (orange juice and vodka) made with Sunny D instead. People have beer and wine every night, is my vodka cocktail any different?

Why is it that weed smells so damn good? People refer to it smelling like skunk, and that's a good thing. Is there anything else that smells like a skunk that people think is a good thing?

Something to keep in mind when you get a dark area rug for your living room, you have to vacuum a lot. We had to replace our last rug because of all the burns, spills and stains. This time, we have a piggy bank that people have to add to if they tarnish my beautiful new rug. Oddly enough, I'm the one who keeps doing all the spilling now, the piggy bank is still empty.

I'm currently smoking my second cigarette during the writing of this post, I think I need to cut back, no scratch that, I need to quit.

How do you stop a neutered cat from spraying other then beating it? (Calm down PETA, I'm joking.) I'd love an answer to this one. My seven year old cat suddenly started spraying, missing the cat box and marking his scent by the front door. Months ago there was a neighbor who let their unfixed cats wander outside my door, my cat started getting moody because of it. I can only imagine that this was the cause of his bad potty hygiene. Now that I know the cause, how do I find a resolution? Move? Believe me, I'm trying.

I love Lucy.

The hubby got his raise today, we won't know how much until tomorrow (flighty boss) but it will take effect starting today. He deserves it. Even though they have resisted giving titles at his work (corporate bastards) he is basically head cook, he runs that kitchen. He does above and beyond the call of duty, like helping managers and supervisors with their jobs concerning inventory and whatnot. He is also the only cook qualified to train others, a valuable commodity in any business. He actually cares about what he sends out on a plate and the way his kitchen looks. Have you seen the movie Waiting? If you haven't, rent it. If you have ever worked in a restaurant, this movie will hit home. If you have seen it, for your peace of mind, in all of the years my hubby has spent in the kitchen, he has never seen anyone do anything horrible to the food. Hope that makes you feel better.

I'm cold, apparently mid 40's is the cut off for window fans. I love being cold, not freezing mind you, just cold. Blanket cold, fireplace cold, cuddling cold. I own way too many fleece blankets, three bucks is just too good of a price to pass up and Ooo, I don't have one in that color!

This post is a wonderful explanation of my thought process. Delightfully random, continuous, overly wordy and typically in full sentences. Welcome to my world, eh?