Banging My Head Against the Wall

Sassy.

Hmph.

First off, I deleted the girly blog. It's original intension was to help Sassy cope with a relationship going south, but since that relationship is now dead and buried, there's very little reason to continue. I still have the account, I probably end up turning it into something eventually, who knows.

At my birthday party, a drunken Tall told me something interesting. You know all those times that Sassy came crying and whining to me for advice? Even with me saying as many times as I possibly could that I wasn't telling her what to do, just what I would do in that situation, she would go and bitch to Tall after words that I was telling her what to do. (Well, gee, I'm sorry, if you'd rather listen to Tall's mom who tells you things like it was your fault that Tall cheated on you, by all means go for it.)

I hate nineteen year old girls.

I had this same problem with Li'l Mama and Prissy. At nineteen, girls think that anyone saying anything to them is trying to be their parent. They friggin' came to me dammit! Grr.

Sassy finally contacted us. She left a comment on our MySpace for my birthday. After a month and a half it was "hope your birthday party is great, wish I could have been there." Um... because she hadn't bothered to contact us, the only reason she knew about the party was because she continuously was calling Tall during it. Wish she could have been here? Pfft. On impulse and the hubby's suggestion, I deleted the comment.

Yesterday on that oh so informative forum of MySpace bulletins (insert sarcasm here) Sassy did one of her legendary posts in the quest to piss someone off. Not Tall this time, can you guess who it was? ME! A nice little rant about immature people who were once friends and delete well meaning comments and kick people while they are down all tied up with a lovely bow at the end with a "fuck you."

I couldn't help it, I responded. Doing my best to raise the bar of maturity (not one swear word buddy!) and simply stated that considering the lack of communication over the past month and a half, that we had assumed she moved on with her life, blah blah blah, basically that if she had wanted to continue to be friends with us, she would have.

By the way, to kick someone while they are down, don't they have to be down first?

I just got a response a little while ago saying a bunch of self serving bitching. She doesn't know if we really like her or were just putting up with her. (One, that means she doesn't know us very well, and two, never bothered to figure it out?) She was giving us space. (Us? Space? Why?) It was apparent after she and Derek broke up that this is the way it was going to be. (What is she talking about?) There's a fine line. (Again, what?) And we should have contacted HER because SHE was the one going through a hard time. (Because we called her all the time before, right? Not. Wouldn't she be the one who needed space?) She was going to marry Tall. (Heh, no she wasn't, the whole marriage topic was the final nail in the coffin for them.) She misses us, but apparently that doesn't matter either. (We didn't go anywhere, she's the one who moved.)

In a way I was just reminded of Poor Me, Our Bum's girlfriend. This whole letter was a dig for pity which I am just not willing to feed into.

Again I responded. I told her that giving us space was a cop out. She was the one going through a hard time. She was the one who drew that "fine line" that she was too afraid to cross. She was the one who assumed that we were only Tall's friends. I told her that if she didn't want to be friends with us, that's fine, but not to blame us. We've always been here supporting and loving her. She had made the excuse that Tall was probably always here. I told her that wasn't even close to being true, however we had received calls, texts and messages that all let us know that he continued to want to be friends with us. Something she has only done the opposite of and instead we had just been waiting in the dark for someone we had thought was a friend to never contact us. We've always been here, nothing about that has changed.

I am not going to let her turn it around on me. I have cared about this girl for a year and a half now and while I may never have become friends with her without the aid of Tall, I hadn't assumed until well after their break up that our friendship would end because of it. Tall may of course be the better friend between the two, but I have never seen the need to blow someone off just because someone else didn't like them anymore. Plus, I know Tall would never ask me to do so, something I am not too sure would be the same if it were the other way around and Sassy were the one I were closer friends with. (I guess it helps that I have been through this with Tall before, with Li'l Mama, again a situation where Tall turned out to be the better friend. I wonder if the consistency is Tall, or the nineteen year old girls.)

The words in her letters are either a clear sign of her pettiness and desire to try and hurt us (more likely me, she obviously directing it to me, even asked how I would feel if the hubby and I broke up) or proof that she really didn't know us that well after all. Either way it makes me sad, another female friend I just couldn't keep. It's times like this I wish there weren't nearly a thousand miles between us my dear doppelganger. I love the fact that you are not nineteen.

I hate nineteen year old girls.