God Must Have a Sense of Humor

What separates us from animals is emotion, feelings. It's all one big cosmic joke really. We're all different, in what we want, how we're going to get there, everything. Put that independence together with the fact that we are supposed to coexist, cue the punch line. It's not easy, and truthfully I bet it was not intended to be. We get in our own way of it being easy. The Id verses the Ego and the Super Ego. What chance did we have?

Occasionally the hubby and I butt heads but we've learned to coexist for the sake of each other and whatever future we may have together. Ketchup? I am ready to ring his neck. A couple other select few? They aren't very far behind on that list.

I never thought I would be looking to Our Bum for redeeming qualities in a houseguest but here I am doing just that. He noticed the little things. Like the effort I go to, to make the coffee table nice and neat, organized and anal. He uses a coaster then puts it back when he's done. Ketchup? Puts the ashtray on the coaster and his drink beside it. I correct this while he is in the shower and how does he respond? He moves the coaster from my nice and neat location for no apparent reason. This is my issue of course, I know the world does not depend on coaster placement, but when everything is in it's place, it gives me less to obsess over. We could all use a little less of that, right?

How about this, if you had been told repeatedly to not lay down and smoke a cigarette on the couch, don't you think eventually you would retain this little bit of fire safety information and actually do it? Hmm. Guess not if he was laying there yesterday with the burning end of a cigarette less then an inch from that old upholstery.

I am also getting very tired of Ketchup deciding to just stretch out on the couch and go to sleep, at very random and not always convenient times. Like right now. The hubby and I are up before he heads off to work. The hubby is in the shower so it's just me and Ketchup watching television. He just decided it's bedtime apparently and is half asleep without a word. Yes I understand that he needs to sleep during the day, I also understand that even though we have asked some number of times that he try to respect our schedule, he has made no such effort. He sleeps whenever the hell he wants with no discernable pattern and during his four days a week off, sleeps constantly. He doesn't do enough to explain how freaking tired he is. Plus, when he decides actually not to sleep before heading off to work, his performance is shit and sooner or later he is going to get fired. (We will not let him live here for free, he had better think of that.) What sucks even more is the fact that I get to see this behavior more readily now that I am making an attempt to reclaim the living room as it's the new home of our big screen television. My TV, my XBox, my satellite, my living room, my apartment. I wish I didn't feel like I had to keep repeating that, even though I've never really said it out loud to him.

I hate siding with the woman considering she ran off with another man and took his kids with her, but I don't envy his ex wife with having to deal with the day to day life with Ketchup. (Does anyone you know keep their tooth brush in the shower?) I certainly couldn't be married to him, that's for sure. I doubt his trainability, not to sound crude. I don't know if was the overbearing mother who passed away when he was seventeen, the father in jail or just the last nine years on his own to develop bad habits and lack of courtesy. He just doesn't care, it's the reason he isn't doing well at work either. He just couldn't give a flying hoot.

It's frustrating. I had to go over a mental list with the hubby last night, of all the little irritating things that are going to end up giving me an ulcer. I am really trying hard not to be mothering to Ketchup. I am aware I do it so I am trying to avoid it. I am also trying really hard to not be a bitch. Again something I am quite aware of and becoming a harder struggle to keep it in tow. That leaves me with not much to say to Ketchup and a constant string of whining to the hubby to "fix it." This has been going on since March 21st. I'm tired.

I don't know if this is going to make things better or worse but while he was out of town visiting a friend, Ketchup met a girl, apparently something that has been a goal of his even before he moved back to Oregon. This girl lives in Washington. We sure as hell aren't giving him a ride up there ever, and I am not yet keen on the idea of him inviting his friends over. Another redeeming quality of Our Bum, he knew which friends to ask if he could bring over, verses the ones that it's better no one meet. I doubt Ketchup has this disgression.

Due to the "economic stimulus check" (*cough*Bush's suck up*cough*) we again have a real possibility of moving. I still would prefer a two bedroom. I have made it very clear to the hubby that once we are able to offer Ketchup more, like say a room, that he is going to have to contribute more. Already in the time he has been here, rent, gas, electric, phone, satellite, etc have all gone up. Ketchup is yet to actually give us more though. Instead he buys more weed then he needs and spends so much at the bar that he doesn't remember leaving it, much less how. If he expects a room (which ideally at this point I would like to just shove him in a small dark room and lock the door for a while) we are going to need some more compensation, plain and simple. Think I have any luck of making it happen? Yeah, I didn't think so either. See? We all have unobtainable dreams.

Speaking of dreams, Li'l Mama left this morning for Mexico, and at least according to her MySpace, we should all be jealous. In a way I am, I guess. Since getting knocked up she has been to Hawaii, Colorado and now Mexico, gotten a new car, spent hundreds if not more at Ikea, blah blah blah, plus now she has this cute little daughter. What happened to the financial hardship of having a child, huh? I guess it helps that the baby's daddy at nineteen somehow has a job that makes decent money and has a health plan and then giddy grandparents that probably help out quite a bit, but still. No true offense intended but I wonder when the baby's daddy is going to take off running for the hills. I don't see him as the type to abandon his kid by any means but I am guessing that Li'l Mama is more then a handful and being thrust into this instant family can't be easy on anyone.

Oh great, they just started hammering downstairs, like right below my chair. With all the renovations that are continuously done on this building, I can't imagine what they are doing now. This should be interesting if not terribly annoying.

I have the feeling we won't be seeing Tall for a while. In the hubby's words, "he is being a bitch." We asked him over the other night for drinking and video games, Ketchup was visiting a friend (blowing his money at the bar) and wouldn't be home that night so he could even crash on the couch, one of the reasons he claims he doesn't come drink with us anymore. This used to be a good offer. He said he was busy, but if his plans fell through he would give us a call. We joked about his "good plans" falling through being the only way he'll come. He said no, he just made the other plans first, a very "stick up the ass" answer. We then asked how far in advance we need to book him. He didn't respond. Sometime past midnight he texted saying he wouldn't make it by. Considering we hadn't heard from him in like seven hours, we doubted it as a possibility and told him that. He responded with "oh" and that was the last we've heard from him in a couple days. Nice, huh? And this is our number one on MySpace.

So yeah, it's the Fourth of July. I keep forgetting. The hubby went in early to try and get off early, sad considering two months ago he requested it off. They are screwing everyone at work, damn corporate. Not only are they trying to cut hours like crazy but they like put a halt to ordering food. Food. At a restaurant. They are out of everything. Sounds like he just walked into a battle zone. For a restaurant that never closes, they really aren't being very smart. The hubby is going to try and run before the firework display starts across the street from his work, because after the show the restaurant will be slammed and in it's current state, it would severely suck.

If and when the hubby does escape, we really don't have much in the way of plans. At most we will probably sit out on the deck and watch in the distance part of the shows from Portland and then all the locals who bought the illegal fireworks in Washington and set them off in their back yard at risk of a fine and fire considering the close proximity of the houses and the over abundance of trees. Always a lot of sirens on the Forth of July.

Oh a side note, I've started drinking SlimFast in the mornings. It was actually the cheaper option to Carnation Instant Breakfast and works ideally as a meal replacement. Exactly what I want it for, well, not so much as a replacement because what I am replacing is nothing, heh. It's funny, looking at all the vitamins and everything in it, I now have a more beneficial diet then I have in probably years. I am almost looking forward to having to be weighed when I get my shot in a couple weeks because I am having trouble keeping some of my pants up, probably thanks in part to my sheer lack of eating while in California. Who knows how I am doing now with full access to alcohol and cigarettes, but the SlimFast is a step in the right direction, right? I decided long ago that I never wanted to be skinny, not only am I not built for it bone wise but I hate the idea of extra skin. I would rather be comfortable in my skin with extra curves then to be uncomfortable in my curves because of extra skin. It would be nice to be healthier though, heh.

Lastly, I hope you are doing well my dear doppelganger. Relationships are hard, just try to take it easy for your sake. No matter what happens, it's not the end of the world. You a wonderful, beautiful person and someday the universe will return the favor by rewarding you with everything you could have ever hoped for plus a few little awesome things that you never even thought of. I love you hun.

Lookie there, a nice big thick post for the blogging world. I think it's safe to say I made an effort here today, and got some things off my chest like usual. Thank you blog for always being here for me. For now, I am off to switch chairs, the hammering beneath my feet is getting to be a nuisance.