Lighter Flick, Pause, Cough.

As if to pour salt in yesterday's wound, again this morning I awoke at seven in the morning. No sane person should be awake this early unless required to, I am not required to. Besides the now typical snoring at my side, can you guess what I heard?

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

Before I continue, let me say this. A few days ago, the houseguest asked if we could leave him a little "gift" for when he got off in the morning. We obliged, lovingly leaving two cigarettes, the 360 all set up for him and a loaded bong. Two days we did that, and then yesterday happened, and put together with scheduling issues left the houseguest with only nine hours in between shifts: So we decided to not set up the 360 for him (the inputs on our television are screwy and he hasn't learned them yet) and left him a single cigarette and no loaded bong, hoping he would take the hint and get some sleep while he had the time.

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

We keep our extra weed on a shelf beneath the coffee table, and until this morning, I have never had any concerns about anyone sneaking into our stash. That stash is supposed to last two weeks, and we had basically just gotten done telling the houseguest that we had been running a little short because of the extra person.

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

I laid wide eyed staring at the ceiling for roughly an hour and a half.

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

I have the feeling that he turned on the television, realized it wasn't set up for him, turned it off instead of watching the cartoons it was auto tuned to, and got bored. Is that really any excuse to smoke someone's weed without asking? In this situation isn't it basically biting the had that feeds you?

He doesn't contribute enough yet to take those kind of liberties, I don't know if he could. He's been here just over two weeks. In that time he bought us a bottle of vodka and a carton of cigarettes (for me, and for him apparently.) In that time, because of his added help, we have gone through four cartons. He has not helped anywhere else yet, simply because he hasn't gotten paid yet from his new job. Wouldn't you consider that living on our dime? Why would he think it's okay to just help himself to our weed?

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

To make matters just that much worse, the hubby though seeing my side doesn't seem to want to say or do anything about it. When I realized what the houseguest was doing I told the hubby. Granted he was half asleep but his response was basically "I can't do anything about it now" before rolling over and going back to sleep. Unfortunately, I kind of think it will never come up with the houseguest.

Again I'm left to wonder if I am a bitch over reacting or if it's something else. The hubby's fear of confrontation? Maybe the fact that the hubby has known the houseguest for years longer then he's known me? Is it the true belief that the houseguest didn't know any better? I have a hard time believing that. The hubby never thinks anything is done on purpose, or maliciously.

I'm not saying the houseguest has ever acted out of malice but is it too much to ask for courtesy? Houseguest, the important part being "guest." Yes this is the only place he has to call home right now, but he is still a guest in someone else's home!

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

It's frustrating to sit here upset and know there is basically nothing I can do about it. Last night the hubby and I were talking. He wasn't doing much to back me up, he said he knew it sounded that way. I get upset, he gets upset. He wants me to tell him when something bothers me, when I do, I've noticed that he's getting defensive and it's causing him to say something rude. (Sorry hunny, I know you are the only one in my life ever likely to read this.) "Well I didn't mean it that way, it's not like I..." followed by something a little out there. A couple weeks ago we were out shopping with his mom and we basically lost her. If you knew his mom, you wouldn't be surprised. Well, standing out by her car in the parking lot, it came down to a decision, would I rather stand out by the car and wait or go inside and look for her. I didn't like my choices, I let the hubby know this much. Blah, blah, blah and it was "it's not like I am trying to get away from you!" Wow. Thanks. My mind hadn't gone there, but thanks. (Again, sorry for complaining about you baby.) No offense, but I'm starting to get the urge to just keep my mouth shut, an unhealthy alternative for all of us.

I complain, I'm a bitch. I get offended, I'm over reacting, I cry and I'm being melodramatic.

Lighter flick, pause, cough.

It's even been stated between the hubby and I, in a very "as a matter of fact" way, that with his schedule (swing) and the houseguest's schedule (graveyard) that I get to be the one to suffer. It's an inevitability. I kind of just wonder how much suffering it's going to entail. I feel like it's a month from now, when I'm due for a birth control shot and my hormones will be all out of wack. I'm ticked off and frustrated, I want to cry.

Today I am alone. Thank fucking god. I needed to be here and vent. I needed the quiet. I needed the houseguest out of my way for a day. I hope the hubby takes advantage of working alone with the houseguest today to actually say something, but I'm not holding my breath for it.

Oh yeah, more insult to injury. Tall hasn't graced us with his presence in a couple days. The hubby stated it very bluntly, "we are boring." Great, that's all and good, but then why is Tall just sitting home being more boring then us? He went out and bought a 360 as well (just can't let us have a little bragging rights, can ya?) and has even been playing Halo 3 the last couple nights. He doesn't even seem to want to play with us. He'll play forever without inviting us and when we finally join or invite him, he says he's leaving to go watch a movie. (We're talking old lame movies too dammit.) Are we the fucking plague? Acknowledgement would be nice you know. There's a word that suits Tall perfectly sometimes, I really prefer not saying it but if you have heard me talk about him, I'm sure you could come up with it too.

Oh yeah, just to prove everything is heading in the right direction (written with extreme sarcasm) we no longer have enough money stashed away to move. The bills just keep coming and the hubby's raise was shit. I can only hope that after the houseguest begins to contribute that we will be able to beef that fund back up. I don't know how much longer I can handle the lack of privacy and conflicting schedules. (In a way it makes me miss our last houseguest. He never had a job in the year he was living here, he had no schedule.) Sooner or later the landlord is going to charge us for the houseguest, and gee, put that together with the rent increase coming next month and everything is just dandy!

My turn. Lighter flick, pause, cough.

Our little punk rocker friend was supposed to stop by nearly two hours ago but he still hasn't called. I think I will take that as a sign that I should take a nap. Any objections? Yeah, didn't think so. G'night!


P.S. Sorry for the increase in swearing recently, I've been hanging around too many boys. Let's hope I relearn how to censor myself before visiting grandma, eh?